Snippets From Our Day

I've been sick for the past two days. It felt as if two days of my life were stolen from me. Every second today has been precious. I've never been so thankful to be able to swallow without pain!

As Owen left for school today with Matt, he kissed his sister and said "Be a good girl for mommy."

Eden and I enjoyed some girl time. Meaning I waxed my legs. She observed, with the comments "Momma hurt?" and "Momma, ouch?" She's learning early what it means to suffer for beauty.

After our shower, I attempted to clip her nails, and push back her cuticles that seem to cover her nail. She squirmed and yelped at me, until I offered a prize: painted nails! Ooolala! That girl sat calmly as I clipped, pushed, and painted her little finger nails a lovely shade of pink.

Where have I heard this before? Owen desperately pleaded with me for more money. More money? What's wrong with the dollar in your wallet? No, momma, like Eden's. Oh, you want coins. Okay, there are two quarters on my desk. -More sadness- No, I need more like Eden. See, one, two, three, four. (He counts Eden's four PENNIES.) Owen, you have a dollar and two quarters. You have MORE than Eden. No, momma, it's only two-see, one, two. Oh, son, you have much to learn.

I'd like to nominate my husband for saint-hood. The past two days, and even today, he has cared for me unlike ever before, as well as care for the kids in addition to his already heavy load. This afternoon he made dinner before leaving for his closing shift. All I have to do is warm & serve!

Having dinner crossed off my list, allowed me to start the holiday baking--WAIT A MINUTE--maybe that's what Matt was hoping for, as I was making HIS favorite holiday cookie. Hmmmmmmm.....

Who cares? It also allowed me to get some work done, and BLOG! Oh, how I miss blogging. Darn you facebook. You suck my time, you pull me away from writing, but--alas, without you I would again feel so isolated and lonely (especially in winter months when play dates are few and far between).

We ran out of brown sugar while baking. I told the kids we'd have to wait (Matt offered & ran to the store for the sugar---hmmmm saint or cookie lover?). Owen says to Eden: "Wanna go jump on my bed?" Eden: "YES!" Off they went. No longer interested in baking.

At nap time, Owen asks "Please take this down, momma. I won't fall. See, I scoot over here." He wants the railing removed from his bed. Past experience on this has meant Owen ends up on the floor dazed and confused. "Mom, I bigger now. See, I scoot way over here." (He puts himself on the far side of the bed away from the edge. Okay, my little man, I accept that you are growing up. I took the railing down with only a slight twinge in my heart as he takes another step in independence.

Then, I quickly rethink it, as I tell him not once, but twice to get. back. in. BED!

Always catching up

Okay, so those 2 months flew by, as usual.

What's been going on?

Matt's still working--all. the. time. :( He's looking at getting his MBA, and searching for a better paying work option. He's also leading worship on a regular basis at Blue Sky Church in Loveland. We started attending last summer, and now we've both assumed leadership roles.

Owen is thriving at preschool. Last week his teacher asked about his speech development--surprised it took her this long. She said she sometimes has no clue what he's saying, and then she asked if he was premature. Why, yes, in fact he was. She suggested we continue speech therapy. :( *sigh* We're still determining whether to do this, or to do more at home (we've been slacking, since he's doing so well since starting school). His creative juices are definitely flowing lately--he wants to paint and create daily. I'm also amazed at how anything can be made into a gun or sword. He is also learning to ride a two-wheeler. Poor kid, the snow and cold isn't helping. I've also started the registration process for school--for reals, this kid starts kindergarten in 9 months?!

Eden is a force to be reckoned with, for sure. She just celebrated her second birthday, and sometimes I think she's determined to grow up & move out as soon as possible. She has an opinion on most everything, and doesn't let her brother get away with much. The two of them definitely are conspiring against me on a regular basis. Owen can get her in & out of her crib on his own--he's so proud of this too. Eden can unlock and open doors on her own--fantastic. She has her own taste in clothes, and will let you know if an outfit is not to her liking. For the most part though, your heart will swell and your face smile the second she walks into the room. She loves to make people laugh, and has a glimmer in her eyes. She delights everyone we meet, and has a way of making everyone smile.

My turn. I'm working part-time at Tenfold, and love it. I'm keeping Forty Foot Music (Matt's teaching studio) organized, scheduled, and running. I have 2 doula clients, one of which we just completed a series of childbirth classes. Sadly, I'm also looking at working full-time again. It is only through God's provision and grace that we've financially survived the last two years, and I know God will continue to provide. Matt is looking at his options, but we've also put my resume out there to see where God is leading us. We don't have much left to continue living with our current means. I'm not just talking dollars here, folks. Matt doesn't sleep much, and neither of us has much "down" time. Mentally and physically, we just can't do this anymore.

The laundry beckons, the children are "cooking" with my good pots and pans, and my laptop battery is running low. We need a positive story to end this blog.

Matt and I have been doing the 30 Day Shred workout video. From time to time, the kids join in with us. Working out has never been so much fun! It can be hard to concentrate though--watching Eden do her hip circles is hilarious. The best part--she does them all throughout the day. She puts her tiny hands on her hips, and rolls those chubby little thighs round and round. It is absolutely adorable. Both Owen & Eden attempt push-ups: laying flat on their bellies, and pushing up just on their arms. They get bored after a few minutes, and then just run under our legs during lunges--that'll get you in shape and hone your balancing skills quite fast! It's all worth it--I've lost 5 lbs, and 4 inches thus far. Matt is toned and building muscle. I just love that we're doing it as a family.

All In A Day's Work

I'm usually up at 6 a.m., and strive to be in bed by 10 p.m. That's 16 hours. What all do I do in 16 hours?

4 hours at Tenfold

.5 hour driving to/from work

20 minute workout

1.5 hours eating/feeding kids

3 hours "getting ready" (for work, to workout, prepping Owen's various therapies, bed, whatever)

2 hours cooking

.5 hour getting kids down for naps

2 hours working on Forty Foot Music and/or Nurtured Mother (or, more Tenfold tasks)

.5 hour Family Bible Study time/put kids to bed

The remaining 1.5 hours or so, I'm checking e-mail, catching up on facebook, tidying or cleaning, and doing all those things that must get done every day.

Owen's Drum Money

A few weeks ago Owen busted one of his drum heads. Now, this isn't too terribly expensive to replace, but Matt was determined that Owen learn to respect his instruments.

Enter: THE DRUM MONEY JAR

We've never liked the idea of paying our kids to do chores, or rewarding them for good behavior. Chores are part of being in a family, and being good is part of walking the Christian life. These are their own rewards.

However, this seemed like an opportunity to teach Owen not only to respect his instruments, but also paying to repair them doesn't magically happen. It has to be worked for and earned.

So, when we catch Owen being especially good, doing extra chores, or doing things without being asked, we add nickels to his jar.

Owen thrives on praise, so in the past an enthusiastic high-five was more than enough for him. I was shocked to see how excited he was about this jar. Matt had done the explaining of the process to Owen yesterday, so this morning Owen gave me all the details. He was surprised to find out that momma would give him nickels too! He eagerly asked if he could do anything to earn nickels this morning. My boy set the table, vacuumed (including edging), and has been an extremely helpful big brother. Near saint-hood today.

Eden too wanted a coin jar. I haven't yet figured out what she's earning money for, but she joyfully helped me with laundry to earn her pennies.

Eden

Eden told me this morning "Watree ee whet." Translation: Water is wet. She's got a bright future, this pretty girl.

It's hard to believe she's going to be two years old in just a couple months. Eden is so unique, so happy--all the time. She draws attention--in a good way--EVERYWHERE we go.

For instance, today at Panera (she tagged along when I met with a new doula client) she wooed a shop owner as we walked down the sidewalk. The shop owner commented, as all who meet Eden do, on how happy Eden seems. I smiled, and replied with my usual response: Yes, all the time. Her favorite word: "happy." (Eden obliged my comments with saying "happy, happy, happy" as she crawled into her carseat.)

Have I told you the story of Eden's name? We struggled for the entire pregnancy, and even through labor and birth to choose a name. Throughout my pregnancy we prayed. Each night that I prayed I dreamed that I had a little girl, with dark hair, blue eyes, and her name was Eden Mara. I dreamed this over and over. At the time, neither Matt or I really liked the name Eden. I told a close friend, who immediately leaned over to my belly and said "Hello Eden Mara." I laughed it off. Sure enough, the big day came, and out came a dark haired, blue eyed baby girl. I looked at Matt and said "Oh no." I looked at our baby girl, and said "Are you Eden Mara?" The biggest smile you've ever seen stretched across her tiny lips. No crying, just smiling. The room was filled with ahhhs and gasps--many claiming they had never seen a newborn smile. When we came home I looked up the meaning of the name Eden. "Delight" No name could quite encompass her more. She is our delight. Our precious, delight from God.

I think I could write books about my little delight, but she's waking--calmly asking for water (you know, it's wet).

Time Flies...or is it Flys?

It's been nearly a month since I posted. Whoa! Where did the month go? I remember thinking at the beginning of summer--when we thought Matt wouldn't be teaching much this summer, how peaceful our summer would be--HA!

First of all--this hasn't been your typical summer "weather-wise" in Colorado. In the six short years we've lived here, I've never seen this much rain. Or, for that matter, such cool temperatures--IN AUGUST! I'm definitely not complaining, it's been a joy to be able to spend time outdoors without melting. It's not like the heat and humidity of Oklahoma, but the intensity of the sun (my husband says it's because of the altitude) is enough to wear you out pretty quick.

I fear Murphy was a mistake, and seconds later I love him. Owen has informed me that "he wuvs him," and that "we need two Murphy's, mom." Argh. What was I thinking? It truly is like having another kid, but smellier. The kids adore him though, and they've grown so much in the past four weeks of Murphy joining our family. Owen's language skills are flourishing, Eden LOVES to "play" with Murphy--which, consists of putting the dog in a headlock, wrestling him to the ground, and jumping on top of him. Somehow Murphy manages to wriggle lose, but Eden hunts him down again. It's pretty hilarious.

Owen starts preschool next week. What?! You thought we were homeschooling. Yep, we're doing that too. Huh?! Preschool is 2 days a week for just a couple hours. We've noticed Owen struggling with respecting authority outside of Mom & Dad, and he's overly dependent on us for social interaction. So, we're scooting him a bit out of the nest. Giving him a bit of room to grow. We might have to pull him out, if he starts getting sick too often, but we're praying for protection and that this is a blessing to his development.

Eden, oh, Eden. Where do I begin, little girl? She is quite the chatter box, saying a new word or sentence--what feels like--every day. She keeps me guessing too. One minute she's the star of her own show, the next--shy as can be. She'll want to kiss and hug Owen, and seconds later deck him for no apparent reason. I've always said--Eden is scrappy, and she's holding me to it. She'll be taking gymnastics and swim lessons this fall. Plus, we'll start some "learning time," while brother is at school.

We're praying for Matt to find a better job situation. We had hoped for many students this fall, so that he could cut back at Starbucks. Unfortunately, we lost 8. We've gained a couple since then, so hopefully it will steadily climb back. Truly, though, Matt needs a job that provides health insurance. So, a career outside of teaching is still needed. We just hired my company, The Tenfold Collective, to re-brand Matt's business. We've renamed the company to Forty Foot Music. (We're on facebook, and a website is in process.) He's building amps, selling pedals and other gear, and trying to get more students.

I'm trying to keep the chaos to a minimum. SO thankful for my MIL today, who cleaned MY ENTIRE KITCHEN--bless her! When I left work, with a pile of "homework," knowing the dish demons that awaited me--I was quite down. Coming home to a clean house, kitchen, sleepy dog, and happy kids--WOWZER. Lots of babies coming this fall through February. I'm a back-up doula for most of those, so hopefully it won't be to insane. Matt's trying to take more of the responsibilities of the music school, so that I can focus once again on being the home manager. Something I must do right now--balance the check book. Hope this suffices as a sufficient update. ;)

AAAAAAAACCCCCKKKK***tearing hair out***

What a difficult parenting season this has been! I'm going nuts!

Just in the last week Owen has poured an entire bottle of shampoo on his sister's head, thrown the puppy by the collar, colored in reading books, and poured out a full bottle of expensive hand soap--this is all in addition to his "normal" misbehavior.

Eden is no saint either--she took ALL of the wet wipes out of the container, assisted her brother in the coloring of books, colored on the entryway floor and wall....

Seriously, I haven't been this angry in a long time. I feel like I'm yelling A LOT. It doesn't help that I'm getting very little sleep, and have ZERO energy. My chest, heart, and lungs seem tight and sore.

Both kids are currently taking a "time out" in their beds, so that I can cool it.

I want to come home, and have 5 seconds without crying kids to at least set down my things and take off my shoes. Please? Can we just get through lunch without smearing our food through our hair, or getting covered with peanut butter? Seriously, am I asking too much? I'm so tired of being tired. I'm in desperate need to simplify life, and get some SLEEP!

Boys and Girls

The difference between my two kids:

When Owen was 20 months, I would tell him to go get a diaper. He would scamper off, get a bit distracted if a train was anywhere nearby, get the diaper, scamper back, chuck it at my head, and then laugh mercilessly.

When I ask Eden to get a diaper, she says something very serious in her own language (please imagine this--she talks with her hands [where does she get that?], and it seems as if she's saying "Are you serious?! A diaper? I am way too big for a diaper. That is totally NOT cool, mom."), but then scampers off. She returns with a diaper, the wipes, and a changing pad--all the while singing a song--usually about being wet, wet wet. She then proceeds to give me instructions (in her sing-song voice) while I change her, "buh-et, wah-et, momma."

Owen at 20 months (December 2006)

Eden 20 months (July 2009)

Family Pics July 2009

Photo Credit: Baily Hollen

Yet Another Photo-Catch up

I just found the cord to my camera that connects to the computer and enables me to download pictures. So, here's another photo catch-up from May through mid-July.

Eden taking a bath after eating black beans. I have hilarious video from this bath time.

Owen being a boy. (If you can't tell, he's hooked a line of carabiners to the grill, and is attempting to haul it across the back deck. No, I don't know why--beyond the fact that he is a boy. These are the bizarre things they do.)

One of only two photos we took while camping before Eden's little "adventure."

The kiddos, and Owen's buddy Julian at The Elders concert at the Foote Lagoon.

Saturday morning breakfast picnic and cartoons. I did this all the time as a kid--good memories.

WANTED

A new digital camera that takes awesome, focused pictures of my kiddos despite how quickly they move. Bonus points for being shock and water proof (and idiot proof).

Additionally, camera needs to have long-lasting batteries, because it must be on and ready at short notice to capture the ever-fleeting, sweet moments of my children's lives.

Pictures should upload automatically, sort, edit, and post to my blog and facebook page--just awaiting my fantastic commentary.

Please send application and references. Thank you.

Owen, the Baker

After dinner tonight I turned the oven on to preheat, so that we could bake cookies. I left the kitchen to go give the kids a bath.

When we were done, I could smell something odd--I blew it off--typically we leave the stone pan in the oven, and it often has a smell as it gets hot (curing).

By the time I made it into the kitchen smoke was filling the house--NOT normal. I opened the oven to find a cookie sheet with an oven mitt, a pot holder, two pie grippers, and a plastic ladle. I quickly pulled them out, and removed everything from the cookie sheet--thankfully, the ladle had only begun to melt.

I believe I uttered the words, "What on earth?" I soon remembered from early this morning--Owen was "baking cookies" while Matt made coffee. These items must've been from his early-morning baking-play.

I love being a mom.

Chapter One: The Preparations

We've been camping before. We camped growing up, went camping on our honeymoon, and have spent the past 11 years of marriage camping every summer. Pregnancy, small babies, heat, rain, and snow—nothing has kept us away.

We always kick-off the summer with our anniversary camping trip. This year was no different, and we made plans to camp this past weekend not far from where we got married up the Poudre canyon.

With both of us working, and Matt not getting off until late in the afternoon the day we were to leave—I knew I’d have to start preparing and packing early in the week. I spent Thursday running around gathering items, replacing missing or broken items, and making sure we had everything we needed. It was hot, and the kids were tired of being lugged in and out of the car. I got a lot done though, and I was feeling tired, yet proud. Much was already packed, and I had made no less than 5 lists to keep us organized.

The next day I had to work, and somehow managed to get up & ready early only to realize I arrived at work without the power cord for my laptop, and oh—I was supposed to be at a meeting on the north side of town. Whoops. I headed to the meeting. It was short, and allowed me the opportunity to go to the grocery store for the last minute items we needed for the trip.

I came home to work the rest of the morning, but not long after I came home I realized Owen was short on his CF enzymes. We didn’t have enough to make it through the weekend. Great. I frantically made several phone calls trying to get Owen’s new prescription filled locally (it’s not something most pharmacies carry). The only local pharmacist that had it in stock didn’t have enough to fill the prescription. I said that was fine—truly, I just needed twenty to make it. They said they had about 600 of the 800 and I could pick it up in an hour—at 12:15 p.m. Great, I said, I’ll be there. I reassessed my plans for the day, fed the kids lunch, loaded them in the car, and headed to Walgreens. Our fantastic one-way system in Loveland bypasses the pharmacy. I was cut-off twice in the process and ended up going the wrong way, unable to turn around because of construction. Traffic was at a stand still, and yep, it’s hot. Owen, our notorious back-seat driver continues to give me directions.

“GO, mom, GO!”

“I can’t Owen. The cars are stopped.” The cars move an inch and stop.

“Go, mom, GO!”

“Seriously, Owen, when the cars move I will go. Please stop yelling at mom.” Seconds pass.

“Go, mom, GO!”

“Owen, it’s time to not talk anymore while mommy is driving.”

I finally get to the pharmacy at 12:45 p.m. We walk in, and get in line. The “uber” friendly lady behind the counter takes my name, and then starts searching every counter, basket, nook, and cranny for our prescription. Owen and Eden are sitting as patiently as toddlers can in the waiting area chairs. Eden is making sure to say “HI” at least 3 times to every person that comes within shouting distance.

The oh-so-sweet lady (please understand I’m being excessively sarcastic about this woman’s attitude) says that it was a partial-fill and it will take a few more minutes.

Uh, didn’t we know that over an hour ago—I thought to myself, but patiently sat down with my kids. More than 30 minutes pass, and my kids are now having “races” down the Walgreens aisles.

I march back up to the counter. The fantastic lady says to me “Are you still here?”

WHAT THE CRAP! It’s a big window lady—you can SEE me and my kids trying to not tear apart the store—you can HEAR them talking to EVERYONE. WHY THE CRAP WOULD WE BE HANGING OUT IF WE HAD WHAT WE NEEDED?

“Yeah, we’re still here.” I say. Breathe, Tamara, breathe. Eden is now sitting on the counter, and Owen is touching anything he can get his hands on, but the lovely woman goes about her business, assisting the drive-thru and answering the phone. I stare in wonder at her and the pharmacists who don’t even seem to see me standing there with two kids who are in desperate need of nap time.

“Excuse me,” I say to the—I’m assuming—pharmacist. “Can you tell me how much longer it’s going to be? We’re trying to leave town, and these kiddos need to take a nap.”

“What’s your name?”

“Cramer. Owen Cramer. With a C.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a partial fill.” BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.

“Yes, we knew that over two hours ago when I called it in. I was told you would have it ready at 12:15 p.m. I’ve been waiting patiently. This is becoming a bit ridiculous.” He speaks to another pharmacist and they start looking on the shelves. He turns to me and tries to explain to me their billing procedures and why this is apparently so complicated. I nod my head, but he can see that I’m beyond perturbed. He gives me a bottle, and says “no charge.” HA—what he really means is that my insurance covers it all—I know that for a FACT.

What’s truly sad is that this is the 2^nd time this pharmacy has done a partial-fill for us. They never have enough on hand to do the full.

When we made it home I realized I had forgotten to eat, and it was nearly 2 p.m. I tossed the kiddos in the tub, and grabbed a sandwich. When I finally got them down for naps, I seriously tackled packing. Gear, clothes, and food—all organized, most—if not all, packed. I lay down and started to doze. No sooner had I shut my eyes than Eden started crying. It was just 4 p.m.—a bit early, for going down so late, but I quickly became aware of the problem.

“Crap,” I said as I looked down at my now wet chest. In the frenzy of lunch and pharmacy roulette, I had neglected to nurse my baby. She’s hungry; I’m now in need of a dry shirt. I get Eden up, and nurse. We cuddle on the couch. I wasn’t expecting Matt for another hour, so I knew I had some time before I needed to finish packing the cooler. I was wrong.

TO BE CONTINUED

Download

When I talk out the things going on in my head it helps me get organized. Blogging has also helped. It's definitely time for a download, and I'm not seeking your sympathy on all that's going on in my life. I just need to get it out, randomness and all.

I feel like I'm working more now than when I was employed full-time. I know I am home more, but I feel like my brain is in overload right now.

I manage over 15 schedules for more than 9 people, and I just added an entire church. I do this to myself. Why?

I find myself ever frustrated and torn between my mac and pc. I miss pencil and paper.

My desk is covered in large-size sticky note to do lists.

Tenfold: need to figure out marketing process for customer database, re-write newsletter, and work on networking event calendar. Check status of hot projects.

Nurtured Mother: Need to refine copy in business plan and office policies. Must get a flyer out about childbirth education classes. Pay state annual report fee. Order checks.

School of Music: Schedule meeting for Matt & Josh. Finish summer invoicing, remind Matt to write student summaries, begin planning for Fall. Open new ckg acct--order cks--pay for ad.

Blue Sky: complete calendar for June for next meeting. Contact parks & rec to reserve pavilion. Make salsa and beans for Saturday. Lots going on in my mind about church. Or, should I say churches?

Home: dish, laundry...never. ending. Vaccuum (kid brought in leaves from bushes). Toilets need scrubbing. Spend quality time reviewing budget. Get to bank tomorrow/make deposit! Need groceries. Order checks. Need to file "inbox" on desk. It's overflowing.

Need to schedule family pics.

The "We're Okay" video from Jars of Clay is odd in a Tim Burton kind of way.

Need to convince mom & dad to use moving service--it's going to be cheaper/less stressful. (Are you reading this, momma? [Yes, Gena, it is "momma" not "mama." And yes, I just totally responded to a blog via a blog.])

How is it the dresser become so cluttered, so quickly?

Kids: Owen needs to catch up on school work. Eden needs one-on-one book reading time. Find a wading pool for summer--it's getting hot earlier in the day now.

Me: I really want to read a book. Any book would be fine at this point. Just need time to read. Mind is aching for fresh thought. Need to buy new makeup. Need new ideas for lunch--healthier choices. So tired of pb&j. Need more substance than a salad. Wish I had time to sew.

Looking forward to Matt opening his Father's Day card & gift. The kiddos did a great job decorating the box, and writing their names in the card.

I must find new work pants for Matt.

Stuff Growing In Our Garden

Purple Basil is a nice sweet basil that is wonderful in any Italian sauce as well as fresh in a salad.

Everyone in our family likes Black Beans so we are growing some against the back fence. They will grow into tall vines and hopefully produce lots of wonderful black beans.

This year we decided to experiment a bit with growing some things we had never thought of before. Here is a patch of small green lentil plants.

Our usual two zucchini plants will produce more zucchinis than we can eat this summer. They usually end up shredded in the freezer for winter use.

This pumpkin is one of many that came up after Tamara put our Halloween pumpkin out in the garden compost last fall. Turns out God's method of reproducing vegetables is amazing--who knew? These seedlings are out growing and look more healthy than any other seedlings in the garden. This fall I think we are just going to bury another pumpkin after the fall cleanup of the garden. So easy and effective.

Whoa!

Look at the pics I just posted.

Now, look at the pics of the kids in sidebar--those are from a year ago.

pictures from Sunday--thanks Lisa

Owen's update

Last Wednesday Owen had his annual visit at the Children's Hospital in Denver. We also met with a surgeon to talk about his rectal prolapse.

The surgeon was awesome, and very reassuring. For now, we've decided to continue to monitor him, and use diet and training to control the prolapse. Eventually he will most likely require surgery to tighten things up, but as he has only recently become fully potty trained--we didn't want to set him back with a surgery and hospital stay. The surgery is also pretty basic, and doesn't seem too invasive. That was reassuring.

We met a new nutritionist--and she was GREAT! Many of you know that we've been very disappointed with our past experiences with our nutritionist. This one listened and asked questions about our holistic treatment of Owen with great enthusiasm and encouragement. She also noted (as all of Owen's medical team do) that Owen is growing rapidly--very unusual for his geno-type. She asked us to take part in their genotype study. They want to find out what is so different about Owen that allows him to grow so well, while others with the same genotype fail to thrive.

Owen's lungs are showing very early signs of "cloudiness"--something that is very common for CF kids, though most show it much sooner. This means we must be even more diligent with his respitory therapy, and possibly next year we'll introduce a new drug--pulmozyme. Pulmozyme is an inhaled drug that thins mucus, allowing CF patients to get it out of their lungs easier. It's been very successful, and I've only heard positive information from other parents--so, I'm interested in seeing how it can help Owen.

The most amazing news was finding out that Owen has grown nearly 2 inches and over 2 pounds in less than 5 months. Incredible, and a huge blessing. Though, it's evident he will quickly be as tall, and then taller, than his mom very soon.

I Forget That We're Not Normal

This Wednesday (May 29) Owen will have his 4th annual CF check-up. We journey to Denver about 4 times a year for quick check-ups, but the annual is a major ordeal. Owen will have several chest x-rays (we've been told that soon he'll have regular CT scans instead), blood work, throat cultures, and we'll visit with nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, nutritionists, and a social worker.

This year the CF Center was kind enough to arrange x-rays and blood work here in Loveland to shorten our time in Denver. However, we've added something new this year: surgery consult.

A couple years ago, Owen started having issues with rectal prolapse. Recently it has become a bigger problem, and we're looking at possibly having to do surgery.

I'm praying for an alternative, less invasive, solution.

As always, we ask for your prayers for his health--and God continues to keep Owen exceptionally healthy. This time around, we ask specifically for this surgery consult and a safe solution.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the title of this post--I was writing out our schedule for the week, and as I wrote "surgery consult" onto the calendar, my heart skipped a beat. We've become somewhat accustomed to the nuances of life with CF, and I forget that surgery consultations for 4 year olds isn't typically part of most people's lives. I realized I needed to ask for prayers and pray myself before doing anything else.

Silly Owen

A few nights ago I was watching t.v. while Owen played trains in the living room. The most recent Volkswagen commercial came on (Meet the Volkswagens). Owen stopped playing to watch. After it was done he shook his head, laughed, and said, "Hehe, talking cars, hehe." He went back to playing trains.

Today I told Owen to go help his daddy make lunch. Owen said, "Okay, mom, chill out."

Lately whenever I give Owen the "you're treading on thin ice, buddy" look--Owen smiles his huge smile (with crinkly eyes that make my heart melt), and says "Haha, silwee Owen. Silwee, silwee. Haha."

Another photo catch-up

This is the type of thing I find Owen doing when I'm working. He said he was "cleanin' the cooker to make dinner."

Pay no attention to that crack in the background. Just the cutie, "rockstar" posing in front.

We Cramer's like to play in the dirt.

She picked this suit out herself. Oh how I wish this one didn't come out so blurry.

Random Kid Tales

Yesterday I taught an all-day childbirth class. My co-teacher brought her kids over. Her oldest, Emma, said to me "You know, sometimes I just don't understand Owen." I'm sure she was referring to his language skills, but I laughed and said "Sometimes I don't understand him either."
Later that evening I told Matt that story. He laughed and told me that explained what he overheard that afternoon. Emma said to Owen, "Sometimes your mom doesn't understand you." In true Owen form, he responded by slapping his hands to the sides of his head & ran off.

Eden is really maturing and understands more than I give her credit for, and it shows when she's in need of correction. When I use my "your in trouble" voice, she tilts her head down and looks up at me--I swear her eyes get even more beautiful and big. Oh yeah, we are in TROUBLE.

Eden learned on her own how to climb onto the dining chairs, and then onto the dining table. Basically, nothing is out of arm's reach for her anymore. Much to her delight.

Owen has watched his train documentaries so many times, that he knows exactly when and what train whistle/horn/noise happens throughout each video. We now have "no train noises at the dinner table/after sister goes to bed/when mom's head hurts/when we don't like what someone says" rules.

Owen has eaten more cheese this week than I think he's had all year. On Wednesday we watch LOST while he has a special movie night in his room (we use Matt's laptop to show the movie--making it all the more special for Owen). Randomly, Owen came running into the living room saying "Two cheese, please?" I figured it must be a better snack than cookies. Luckily, we get 1-2lbs of cheese from WIC every week.

Friendship

How do you define friendship? What qualifications do you look for in a friend? How do you know the difference between a true good friend and a "friendly" relationship?

Matt & I both have been lonely lately. We feel almost abandoned by those we thought we could trust and that would be there for us through thick and thin. Honestly, at this time we can only name a couple friends who we know we can depend on. More than that though, we know those people feel the same about us. More of a reciprocal or interdependent relationship, rather than dependent or one-sided relationship.

We spent time (and money) "investing" into relationships throughout our marriage, only to realize later that it wasn't well spent. Very few of those we thought were our friends even talk to us anymore. Yeah, we feel used and disappointed. It breaks our hearts getting turned down over and over and over for a shared meal, an invitation to a party, or whatever get together we plan. I've become weary of even asking. A person can only take so much rejection.

I'm sure there are qualities about us that when people get to know us it quite possibly turns them off--I feel that about people in my life. However, isn't that part of life and relationships? When you really care about someone, don't you work through the bad stuff? Don't you look beyond faults? In our divorce-ridden culture are we too lazy to be loyal? Too weak to work through differences? When things get tough do we just run away & start over?

I've tried to not let this get me down, but I'm both sad and angry. Seriously, if you don't want to be my friend--fine. Could you just be honest with me? Could you just let me know, so I can quit wasting my time investing in you? 

Maybe I should list here what I think is important in a friendship:

• Honesty--if we can't be real with each other, what's the point? Also, if I can't trust you to keep my private stuff private--no doubt that I'll struggle being real with you.
  
• Dedication--I'm going to call & check on you, I want you to check in on me too.
  
• Loyalty--Yeah, I know you have other friends and family obligations, so do I. However, I'll make it a priority to be your friend--meaning I'm going to find the time or make the time to spend with you growing our relationship.
  
• Laughter--If we can't crack up at all the funny, gross, weird, and sometimes sad things going on in life this won't be a good relationship.

Facebook has reconnected us with many people from our past. It's interesting who comments on my status updates, sends messages, or befriends me. I really enjoy Facebook, but those relationships don't make up for a conversation over coffee or a BBQ on the back deck with friends. 

Owen's CF is another reason our friendships are difficult. We're constantly being turned down for dinner or parties b/c so-and-so's kid is sick, and they don't want to infect Owen. I do appreciate that they're concerned for Owen, and also want to keep him healthy--that is very cool. We too have to be very cautious of where we go, and who/what we expose him too. It's very isolating and lonely for Matt & I. We can only imagine what it will be like for our son as he gets older & understands more of what's going on. It's another reason why good friends are so important to us.

I keep trying though. I keep calling people, meeting new people, and trying to find good friends.

What's Going On Right Now.

Matt:
We're pretty sure his ear drum ruptured of few weeks ago. He finally made it to the doctor today. The ear drum looks fine, but there was a huge ball of dark (probably blood-stained) wax in his ear. The doctor removed it, and Matt said the mid-range tones suddenly came back. That must be the range I speak in...

Owen:
Can you believe this kid will be 4 years old in just 12 days? I remember bringing this baby home from the hospital. I remember the day he first smiled. Oh my. Yep, those are tears burning in my eyes. He's debating daily between cookies or cake for the big par-tay. Momma fixed the boy's beloved play tent today, and he's been "camping" all day. He desperately wants Eden to camp too, but she's not too keen on going in--must have her Momma's issues of small spaces. He's doing SO GREAT with preschool. He's flying through the curriculum we're using, and he loves to do "school" with his daddy. Matt really gets the way Owen thinks, and I love seeing Owen's little light bulb come on constantly when he figures stuff out on his own.

Eden:
Definitely likes to dress up, and be "pretty." Today she found a red-bowed head band, and wore it around all day. She picked out a lovely blouse to wear as well, but just like her momma--promptly went outside to play in the mud. Despite it being barely in the 60's today, both kids ran around outside near-naked. No sooner had Matt brought Eden in and took off her wet muddy clothes, when she ran back outside with just a diaper. Those mean molars are fighting their way through, and I'm trying to stay patient through her whining and crying. Really, I sympathize--fevers, obvious pain, restlessness--I'm trying to focus and be joyful that she actually wants her momma so much right now.

Me:
Let's see, working PT at Tenfold (yep, still loving it), still managing the music studio (trying to promote the summer programs), volunteering on the church women's ministry committee working on marketing and promoting events, freelancing here and there, planning a community event for Nurtured Mother, just finished a series of childbirth education classes, fundraising for the CFF, and above it all: being a mom to the two most-awesome kiddos in the world. Maybe it's because I'm nearing the big 2-9, or maybe it's because I quit working full time--I'm not sure, but I'm really becoming more and more aware and "okay" with myself. I find myself thinking "why am I doing this/why do I do this?" I'm realizing I've spent a lot of time doing things for the perception of others. I worried a lot about what others may or may not be thinking about me. My priorities are shifting and becoming so amazingly clear. I don't want to go too deep into this tonight, but that's what's going on right now.

Other thoughts:
LOVE backcountry.com--just got an awesome deal on a Prana laptop bag.

Opinions on some of the new shows: "Castle"--love the stories, but some of the acting is a bit over-done. It's getting better, and I'm enjoying getting into it. "In the Motherhood"--loved the webisodes, HATE the show. I can't even get through 5 minutes without rolling my eyes or wanting to shake these women. "The Unusuals"--just caught the first episode last night. Yep, it was unusual. Pretty sure my watching it will be unusual. "Better Off Ted"--makes me laugh out LOUD.

I Am NOT Participating In the Recession

Where The Wild Things Are

Eden Eats Dirt

Adventures of Eden the Determined

She awoke earlier than normal feeling that something was missing. Not knowing how to find it in the early morning dark, she let out a cry. Then another, only louder. The tall scratchy-faced one came through her door, retrieving the lost item. Ah, that it's--my pacifier.


As the scratchy-faced one left, she heard a cry from the brother. Well, if he's getting up, then I want up too!


This time the milk provider came. Eden was retrieved from her slumber fortress and transported to the sofa. A nice breakfast and a journey to the foreign "backyard" land were all she could take. A rest is what she needs, but not before a visit to the porcelain throne room.


"I am big enough," she thought to herself. "I do not need the milk provider to pluck me from this throne. I shall leap to floor." She lurched forward, but alas, she swan dived into the floor. Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark.Thankfully, the milk provider is also very comforting in these moments.


After a peaceful rest, she again awoke to the noises of the brother. Again it was time to venture outside where it was warm and sunny. She assisted the milk provider in the application of water to grassy areas, careful to avoid getting wet. It was all for naught, though. The brother eventually found ways of hosing her down.


"Never fear," she thought. "A quick cry to the milk provider, and I shall be dry again."


After receiving her dry clothes, Eden realized her belly was once again rumbling. This time the milk provider was well aware and preparing for lunch.


The brother, now also extremely wet, distracts the milk provider long enough for Eden to reach great lengths and hoist the pureed veggies from their resting spot.


"I am big enough. I can feed myself," she thought.

(Please note bruise on center of forehead.)

-----------------------------------------
After this, Eden played in shaving foam (cheap entertainment, folks), had a bath, and is now resisting nap time. Ahhhhh, what a day!

It Was A 3 Bath Day

Bath #1
10:30 a.m. Got Eden out of bed to dash off to Owen's speech therapy appointment, only to discover she had a full-out diaper explosion.

Bath#2
6:15 p.m. After playing in the garden/compost pile, and eating "dirt," Eden was covered in mud head to toe. (pictures to come)

Bath#3
7:00 p.m. We had spaghetti for dinner. 'Nuff said.

A bit of randomness

Owen at almost 16 months: (taken August 2006--professional magazine photo shoot)

Eden at almost 16 months: (taken last Thursday--with my point & click digital in poor lighting)Random video:

Overheard at the Cramer house

Owen to Eden: "You're drivin' me crazy!"
Eden: "Hi-eee!"
Owen: "Silwee, silwee, silwee." (said while patting Eden's head)
Eden: "Ha-iiii-eee!"
Owen: "Oh no! Holy, moly!" (said when we came to a red light while rushing to sports class)
Eden: "Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!" (said as soon as daddy opens the door)
Owen: "Hubba, hubba." (said after his mom whistled at him)
Eden: "Blither, blabur, HI" (said morning, noon, and night)

Added a few minutes later: Eden also now says "pah-wease" as she signs please. She also learned to pick her nose (her brother confessed to teaching her--with much pride, I must say). She thinks it's downright HILARIOUS!

A Day In Time

Got this idea from my friend, Gena, at Harmonious House. Thanks, Gena!

2 a.m.ish Awoken by daughter who currently has a habit of screaming in her sleep. Say a silent prayer thanking God for my saint of a husband who gets up to quiet said screaming baby.
6 a.m. Awoken again by daughter who likes to start waking up with half-hearted whining-cry for about an hour.
6:28 a.m. Son is now awake yelling that he needs to pee. I scream, "So get up and GO!" Son ignores his mother, and continues yelling "PEE!" Husband moans. Daughter now screaming and definitely awake. I moan. Husband gets up to tell son to pee. He comes back to bed.
6:35 a.m. I debate whether I should shower now with all children awake, and one screaming--knowing that husband will stay in bed despite the chaos. I suggest he bring daughter to bed. He complies, but upon seeing her mommy daughter now has shrill-like scream in protest to being forced to lay down without mommy. I sigh--slight chance of a shower now. I crawl into bed, but not before bringing son with me--because, of course, he now too wants to join in the fun.
7 a.m. After a half-hour of trying to convince children to lay still for a blessed 20 more minutes I get up with daughter to nurse. Son, now knowing it's time to be up, shakes his daddy, "Time to get up, Dad, it's morning." Husband moans.
7:15 a.m. Breakfast, quick shower for me, and the husband's off to teach. I scramble to get myself and kids ready--son has "sporties for shorties" at 9 a.m. We make it on time! No small feat. Run back home, grab library book that's due today, and we're off again. Daughter falls asleep in car. Mom takes extra long way home to enjoy some peace & quiet.
Noon Lunch and another nursing. Husband is home, so we get a few minutes to talk about life--a stressful conversation, but definitely needed. Husband is leaving for 2nd job soon, but we get a good half-hour of rough-housing with the kids on the floor. Daughter goes down for nap, son and mom do preschool work, and then he's down for a nap too.
1:45 p.m. Mom goes to computer to check-in at work, catch-up on e-mail, and check-in on facebook. All is well. Decide that since husband is working late tonight, a nap might be needed--or, at least some quiet prayer time to reflect on said earlier "stressful conversation."
3:02 p.m. Eyes shot open--phone is ringing (ugh, usually I remember to turn all phones off). I don't recognize number, so I hit ignore, and close eyes. Buzz. A message. Great, now the curiosity won't allow me to go back to sleep. I check the message--possible new student for Matt. I get up & call her back. Sounds like a great lead. Back to bed.
4:08 p.m. Wake--wow, kids are still asleep. Check-in with work again. Go wake up kids. Sit on couch with kids and watch PBS cooking shows to ease them into being awake. This is heaven. Curled up on the couch with the world's cutest kids, watching someone else cook, and hearing son say "Mmmmmm, good."
5:00 p.m. Open curtains to allow setting sun in house. Turn around to see all the dust in my kitchen and living room. Decide to dust and wipe down cabinets. Daughter wants to "help." Give her clean rag, because her sweater that she chose probably isn't the best cleaning cloth.
5:30 p.m. Dinner time. Daughter whining and signing please for anything resembling food. Pop leftovers into microwave, and ask son to help set table. Kids eat without complaint or fight--a small miracle and victory that gives me hope for a peaceful evening. Make fresh whipped cream and serve with strawberries--everyone is happy.
6:18 p.m. Kids playing in daughter's room. Mom begins contemplating what needs to be done for tomorrow. Work on laundry.
6: 48 p.m. Daughter signs please to be brought up on couch with mom. Play peek-a-boo with daughter, and do a final nursing before bed. Pajamas, face washed, and daughter is down for night.
7:30 p.m. Allow son to play on computer, so that mom can fold laundry and watch television. Check on son during commercials, because he's becoming faster at computer know-how daily. Finish laundry, and decide to do a quick work-out (and by work out I mean jump on mini trampoline for 10 minutes, and then power tidy around house). Grab a handful of semi-sweet morsels, 'cause I deserve it.
8:30 p.m. Pajamas, teeth brushed, read books, and say prayers. Son is ready for bed. Mom heads to desk to finish prepping for tomorrow, check-in on facebook once more, and spend time on blog.
9:02 p.m. Son is hollering for his momma. "Color." "No." "Color." "No." "Color!" (This time with kicking feet.) Sigh. Here we go. Mom stands firm, son starts screaming. Mom leaves son crying and screaming--please, please, please don't wake up your sister.
9:22 p.m. Son now doing the "gulp-gulp-sigh" cry, mom's heart breaks, but she's also a bit perturbed. Grabs handful of tissues. Wipes his eyes, but firmly says "No coloring, it's time to go to sleep." "Momma bed." "No, you need to sleep in your bed." "Momma bed, please." "No." "Scared momma. Please momma bed." Sigh. Pray with son, and ask if I give him his Doodle Pro, would he please go to sleep. Deal. Son doesn't color. Just holds Doodle Pro and closes eyes. Unsure if I just totally failed as a mother. Return to blog, and await husband's return.