Money Matters: Part 2

We've started our plan. No doubt it will be tweaked along the way, but we've got a good start.

1. Increase income--We don't know how else to cut expenses w/o compromising health. At first, increasing income also seemed impossible. Matt works 2 jobs, plus takes side work wherever possible. I work for 3 companies and manage the house and kids. There aren't enough hours in the day to work anymore. Two things we concluded: 1. We have to maximize what we're already doing. Matt needs to spend more time working on the job that makes more money. Tamara needs to work as much as possible, but still have balance for managing the home (because lack of time at home means the budget and home finances begin to deteriorate). 2. This will take time. I think we've always thought that, well, if we're working as hard as we can that everything will just fix itself. Nope. We're learning a whole new way to approach work that will yield us the greatest return and benefit. It's going to be a process, and it won't happen over night. Darn. We will get there though.
2. A measly $1k starter-emergency fund doesn't cut it. Rarely are our emergencies less than $1k. We looked through our past, and it's $2500 or more to cover emergencies. Saving enough to prepare for ruin has been our downfall: We first started attacking our debt and budget over 10 years ago, and then moved cross-country to a higher cost-of-living area. Another time--a new baby, early, birth issues along with a job that wasn't paying on time along with the largest tax bill we've ever had. Yet again, just recently, my car required a new clutch and new brakes--nearly $1700 worth of repairs. Each of these emergencies has wiped us out, and then some. We've spent our entire marriage starting over. Before we can pay off debt, we've got to make sure that we don't go into debt further b/c of life's emergencies. So, whether it's $1 or $100--each pay check is going to get a bit moved into that fund.
3. Pay off credit cards. Simple as that.
4. Pay off student loans.
5. Save even more. Now, I want to prepare for catastrophes.
6. Retirement, education, mortgage.

Another step, that doesn't really have a place is refinancing the house. Our mortgages will be the death of us, if we don't find a way soon to get it refinanced. Unfortunately, a lot of these other steps have to happen before a lender will even talk to us.

Goals. I read a great book that talked about having a "Would You Rather." This is that one thing you really, really, really want. For me, it's a tropical vacation for the family. For Matt, a guitar. The "Would You Rather" comes into play whenever we make purchases. Sure, it's always been in our heads to say would you rather buy a new car or get out of debt. However, there are days when it seems we will NEVER be out of debt. So, it's all to easy to say screw it, and buy whatever large or small item is tempting us (even when it's the more expensive cut of meat at the grocery, or gourmet item--I mean, after all, it's food & easily to justify as "needed"). So, now I say "Would I rather go on that vacation, or buy the organic, free-range, grass fed chicken eggs?" Makes it easy. Hello store-brand eggs. (This was just a random example--I really could care less about eggs.)

Out of curiosity--what's your "Would You Rather?"

Detox In Review

I was asked almost daily why we were detoxing. I didn't have an answer. I guess it was, at first, assumed in my head that detoxing is what you're just supposed to do to get in better health. As I am doing with many things in our lives--I began to review the why in this detox.

What got us here?

Why is this important?

What am I trying to accomplish?

Here's what I've come up with so far, and forgive me for the bullets--I'm not feeling very eloquent in my writing today.

• The further away we were from the summer/farmer's market season, etc., The fewer vegetables were being consumed. We primarily have potatoes and carrots remaining, and well--those aren't even really the best from the vegetable world. It was really making for a boring dinner menu.
• Save for the recent lack of vegetables, we really don't eat all that bad. I really enjoy the food we eat, and deprivation from certain foods allowed me to re-learn and appreciate food again.
• Detoxing also reenergized my food creativity. At first I was just so down and tired that cooking and re-learning to cook differently was a struggle. Now, I'm looking at recipes differently. It also inspired our garden-to-be for 2010.
• One thing I didn't accomplish that I fully intended to make a part of the program was to spend more time in prayer and meditation over God's word. Instead, to stave off hunger pains I used distraction--facebook primarily--which, has led to another self discovery that we'll save for another time.
• After the detox I understood hunger better. I'm not eating as much as I did before the detox. I feel full easily, and I'm more aware of when I need to eat.
• Throughout the experience, I knew this wasn't some sort of game of beating myself into food submission. I wasn't fasting, and I allowed myself certain--for lack of better terminology--"cheats." For example, the day my wedding ring was destroyed in the garbage disposal I ate a handful of chocolate chips. After a LONG labor and birth--a few bites of grilled chicken. My body, mind, and soul needed those, and I do not regret or feel that it was wrong to eat them.
• The detox stimulated a lot of conversation for my husband and myself. I think we're detoxing life right now, and this was just the first step to help us understand what is to come in 2010.

So, maybe you die-hard detox champions out there think that I really didn't do a "real" detox. Oh well. This wasn't for you. I feel good, and I pooped like a champ the whole week. We plan to do another in the summer--when more produce is in season. I'll probably still eat chocolate.

Money Matters: Part 1

Step one of my 2010 master-plan in the realm of finance: 'fessing up on all the money mistakes. Now, I'm sure this list won't include everything--no doubt it took A LOT of mistakes for us to get where we are, and it isn't all inclusive. Meaning, I'm not going to get specific here, like "we should have never bought _____." No, I'm understanding now it's not the specific, singular mistake--it's the attitudes and beliefs that went into making those decisions that really matter.

Money Mistakes:

• Believing that getting & using credit cards was "necessary" to build our credit history/give us better chances at buying a car or house.
• Thinking that "leftover" grant, scholarship, or loan money during college was "free" to spend on whatever.
• Believing that it wasn't important to pay off credit cards while in college, because afterall, when we graduate we'll have AMAZING, WELL-PAYING jobs that will zap that debt into oblivion.
• Believing that we HAVE to buy a house NOW, because "renting is like throwing money away."
• Not learning HOW to budget before ever getting a checking account.
• Not learning WHY to budget before ever getting a checking account.
• Believing that a savings account was for whenever we ran out of money in checking, rather than for emergencies or reaching goals.
• Learning, understanding, and respecting the tithe sooner.
• Justifying every purchase.
• Regretting every purchase.
• Just because something you want is on sale, or the best deal, doesn't mean it's the right time, or right thing for your family.
• Just because it's not on sale or not a great deal, doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.
• Just because they're an expert, doesn't mean you should trust them with your money.

What are your money attitude mistakes? What have you learned from bad financial choices?

Funny trip story

We wanted to help Owen understand as much as possible about the funeral. Sort of a "test drive," so that he's prepared when someone close to him dies.

After the funeral we were driving to the cemetery. I turned to Owen and asked if he knew why "the lady was in the box" (as he put it).

"Yes," he said. "She died."

"That's right," I said.

"Yep, someone shot her in the head, and then she died," Owen continued.

Um, no. No more TV for you.

(For those that are worried--after we contained our laughter, we did explain in more detail who was "in the box" and why...and how.)

2010: Project 1

Detox. We're doing it.

I spent the day planning out a week's worth of meals for a detox/cleanse I've adapted from wholeliving.com.

We've done a detox before, but it included drinking a nasty supplement and 2 months worth of eliminating foods we love.

This is quick, and relatively easy. I'm focusing on the "quick" part. The first 3 days we'll ease in to eliminating foods that build up in our system. Days 4-7 we'll be on a mostly liquid diet--consuming a solid, protein-filled lunch each day. If you're interested in the "plan," I'm happy to send you my excel spreadsheet with our meals, what to eliminate, include, or replace.

This detox is part of our family's 2010 "Plan" (I'm working on a cooler title.) With 32 hours in a car over the course of 4 days, Matt and I had the opportunity to discuss the changes and goals we want to make this year, and for the future. We're still establishing strategies and tactics, but we're going to initiate some ideas while we finish the master plan. Doing this detox is part of the health & wellness portion of the plan.

Our 2010 "Plan" includes areas such as: Faith, Finances, Friends, Family, Health & Wellness (ran out of F's), Personal Growth, and Education. There might be more, but that's what I've got so far. I'm sure a spreadsheet will be created soon. SimpleMom.net has an awesome worksheet that we're using. (She's got a lot of other awesome stuff too, so check her out.)

The Year of The Girl

I'm not much for resolutions, but I have always been a goal-oriented person. So, as it is with most people around this time, I am reviewing the past and preparing for the future.

I have not thought through all of this yet, so this will be a jumbled post of ideas, hopes, and goals.

The last couple years have felt like they have happened to me, rather than me having any effect on life. I don't like this, and very much want to be experiencing life instead of it running me over. A mentor once told me that I needed to manage my job, rather than it managing me.

I am fed up with finances. For all the books I've read, blogs I've read, advice I've been given, coaching that has been shared with me--nothing is new, and very little is anything I didn't already know. What I'm understanding more and more is that our finances--much like most things in our life--need to work for us, not how they work for the general public or our friends, family or neighbors. We've tried so many different methods, followed so many "plans"--it's not changing much at all. We're frustrated that change isn't happening quickly, and I think change is not happening b/c the way we THINK has not changed. We've changed habits and behaviors--we spend a lot less, etc.--but money is still managing US. We're at the mercy of our income, debt, and budget. It sucks. We're going to blow this out of the water this year. I've got some real strategies--that are unique TO US--for OUR situation--for OUR thinking--for OUR needs. More to come on this.

I have a new camera coming. I can't wait to start taking more and better pictures. This is part of a long line of personal accomplishments. I'm also wanting to push my domesticate side by learning to sew and knit well.

I'm going to enjoy being a girl. When did it become taboo to be a girl? Why is it an insult to "throw like a girl," or to be "hormonal" or "emotional." Having a little girl is making me realize the fantastic blessing it is to be a girl. That loving pink, babies, pretty clothes and other trinkets are OKAY. I'm making 2010 the year of being a GIRL! Praise God, I'm a girl! If I want to wear a dress every day, so be it. Yep, I might even sew that dress myself.

Health. I've been shredding, and I love it. I love seeing my waist get slender, and having my husband's arms wrap around so easily. (I'm pretty confident he likes it too.) I love that so many of my friends are jumping on this wagon with me--it encourages and challenges me to keep going. I'm going to kick it up though this year. First, a detox. I've wanted to do this for awhile. I did one several years ago, and it felt great. I've found a simple, easy plan, and I've got a start date. I think the key word is strength. I want to feel strong. Not muscle strong, but a feeling of inner strength. I want to feel as though I can DO this (whatever "this" may be), and my body is ready for each challenge coming our way.

Write. I need to blog more. I need to finish a book. I've got ideas, and I've received so much encouragement from friends--even some strangers. I lack confidence, time, and direction. Just like with the sewing and knitting--lots of ideas, not enough resources. Kids book? Non-fiction? Theology? Not sure. Which, is why I have lots started--nothing finished. Searching for the right goal on this one.

I've got lots of ideas, hopes, and goals for my family too. I'd like Owen to be able to read before kindergarten. I'd like Eden to know her letters and numbers by fall, and to spend more time reading with her. I'd like them both to know the New Testament books, and the days of creation. More importantly, I want them to know that Jesus loves them--even if they don't quite understand. I'd like our family Bible study time to be more of a daily habit.

I'm realizing this post could just keep on going, and it's already late tonight. Obviously, it's going to be a busy blogging season.