Please Forgive Me

I need to gripe and complain. I don't like using my blog for this purpose, and I don't like complaining in general. I heard it best put "Complaining is to Satan, what praise is to God." I just feel compelled to release some frustration.

• I'm tired. I'm very very tired. I miss sleeping whenever I want, and for however long I want.
• I can never catch up on housework no matter how hard I try. Which, only makes me feel guilty that I spend so much time cleaning instead of enjoying time with the kids.
• I miss my husband, and I miss days off--Matt works every day of the week. He's gone no less than 5 hours each day, and sometimes up to 15 hours or more. It breaks my heart to tell Owen over and over "Daddy's at work," and see his disappointment come over his face.
• I'm sick of being emotional, tired of going from amazingly happy to overwhelmingly sad.
• I'm tired of spending so much time trying to manage our finances, and seeing only minimal results.
• I'm so done with winter, snow and cold. I ache for warmer weather.

Okay, I can't do anymore. With each one of these, my typical "see the silver lining," completely optimistic personality chimes in with the cup half full blessings of life. So, now I'm frustrated at myself for being so darn happy despite our struggles. I mean, after all, I'm not dead yet (though, there are days....).

The Tenfold Collective

I have exciting, fabulous, joyous news!

The awesome creative team at The Tenfold Collective just hired me. I begin work in mid-February. I'll be doing a variety of different tasks like traffic coordinator, scheduling/calendar managment, press releases, a bit of marketing and event management, and assisting in about every way possible (so, a title is still in the works).

Let me tell you more:

• The schedule is flexible and short. I'll be working 2-3 hours 4 days a week, sometimes more, sometimes less--based on their needs and my availability. Seriously. The leaders all have kids my age and share my values and beliefs of family first. They're all well aware of our situation (finances, family concerns, etc.) and support what Matt & I are trying to do (including support for my doula work, afterall they did design nurtured-mother.com).
• This is an up and coming design and branding firm with unique talents--I'm able to be on the ground floor and really feel like what I do contributes to the success of the company. This is something I can do while my children are young without feeling like I'm taking away from their needs or well being, and I'll be able to grow with this company.
• We've been praying about this for months. I started talking with Tenfold in October, and I was praying before that. All along I felt like God had his hand in it, but there was definitely a timing--I just needed to wait. Typically, I'm not a patient person--especially when there is something I really want. This time, I was able to relax and wait--definitely not my specialities. Finally, everything fell into place and it couldn't have come at the best time--when Matt & I were contemplating what to do next.
• I haven't even started working and I already feel appreciated. These are awesome people, and good friends. It will be hard work, but when you enjoy what you do & who you're working for it makes all the difference.

Though it doesn't provide every dime we're lacking to make it on our own--it gets us much closer, and it's a huge blessing in more than just financial ways. God is good.

I don't care if it's cold outside...

I'm gonna ride my bike.

Spring come soon.

Jesus Loves Me

It took some doing, but I actually got Owen on video singing "Jesus Loves Me."

Playing Flashlights

Owen & Eden created a new game this week, which they've played almost everyday, several times a day. (The capes, by the way, were Eden's idea.) The first photos are without a flash, so you can get an idea of what it looks like during play time.

To Sell or Rent

January has arrived, and the hopes of Matt being promoted to a better paying position have pretty much gone down the toilet.

We're now looking at the possibility of either selling or renting the house. We still have a few months of emergency funds before we're tapped out, but I'd rather be prepared for the worse. We're also considering that we may have to move somewhere else for a better paying job. I'm purging closets and getting boxes to do some packing.

I'm debating though on which route to pursue--sell or rent. Any advice? We really like this house, and I'm not sure we want to give it up. I also fear that if we sell--it will be years before we are ever available to purchase another house. Renting though comes with all kinds of headaches--trying to find a decent renter, caring for the property even when you don't live there, etc.

I'm earnestly praying it doesn't come to that. I'd like to just stay here. We still have several other options and possibilities to consider before we do anything, but like I said, I want to be prepared even for the worst-case-scenario.

Look What I Can Do

It's been awhile since I posted updates on what the kiddos are doing.

Eden:
If you didn't already know--she's walking, all the time. She's speedy and scrappy. She LOVES to say "hi," all.day.long. Over and over and over and over again. She has a few other words, momma, dada, and also trys "all done." The last two days she's been trying to say "beep" when she touches her nose or mine.
Her fifth tooth just popped through, and we are enjoying the joys of teething again. She's definitely developing opinions on food, and would much prefer what is on our plates to her's. As of late, she's really enjoying raisins, especially golden raisins.
Eden loves the rocker her daddy made, and you can find her sitting in it with a book daily. After a week of, ahem, "tummy" trouble--she became very fond of bath time, and comes running any time she hears the water running.
She enjoys tumbling & rolling, and I'm hoping she'll get to take gymnastic classes soon.
She follows Owen around all day, and for the most part they play very well together.

Owen:
Owen started speech therapy about a month ago, and it's going very well. In many areas he's ahead of the game, but he has a few areas that needed some catching up. Our speech pathologist is very impressed with his progress (SO ARE WE). He's such a smart kid, and it's so exciting getting to know him better with, now clearer, conversations. He enjoys coloring and drawing--he's a great artist, and is learning to spell quickly. I just wish I had more one-on-one time with him to keep his momentum up.
He still enjoys trains, but has broadened his interests. He received a drum kit for Christmas, and I'm amazed at what he learns just by watching his daddy. This kid has natural rhythym and talent. He also is showing a lot of interest for sports--lately, for football. Anytime I'm watching t.v. he insists on stopping to watch "the game." He'll watch mesmerized by the action, and he has started asking questions. I totally LOVE that he's into sports. I'm hoping to get him playing on a soccer team this spring.

Both kids are eager for warmer weather. Owen bundles up & goes out to ride his bike when it's not too cold. Eden usually watches from inside, but we did take her out a few days ago. We all stayed out playing with the soccer ball for about 15 minutes before our noses were red and the kids asked to go inside. I'm ready for spring too, but we have several more cold days before spring.

Prayer request:
We had hoped that Matt would've been promoted by now. He's looking for better paying work, but we'll be getting the house ready for renting or sale in the next couple months. It's not what we want, but we're preparing for whatever could happen.