Better From Me

As yesterday's horrifying news was constantly berating us, I wondered how much was getting through to my kids. I made a point to keep the TV off, but after "muting" the radio for the 100th time my intuitive 7yo son asked, "Mom, why do you keep turning down the radio?" I swallowed hard and debated on how to answer. I wanted to be truthful, but I wasn't sure exactly what to say.

"They're talking about something that I don't think you should hear about right now."

Of course, this led to a barrage of questions, and now his sister's curiosity was peaked too. I thought then that it would be much better to hear from me what had happened, then to get it from another child or adult, or heaven forbid--from the media.

With carefully chosen words, I explained that a young man with evil in his heart shot and killed some kids in a state far away. This young man also killed some teachers and himself. I kept it to a bare minimum, and avoided any extra adjectives or details.

My childrens' responses are so very telling of their personalities:

The Little Man: "Well, it will be okay, because God will bring them back to life."
Mini Maven: "Well, if anybody tries to do that to us, we'll punch him in the face!"

After telling my daughter that sticking around to punch someone who has a loaded weapon isn't the wisest of choices, I explained to them that if they have fears or worries over what happened (or if they want to talk at all about this) that they need to do that with Mom or Dad only. I helped them understand that a lot of kids don't know what happened and it might be scary to hear. Of course, I also reminded them that I protect them, and they are surrounded by people that love them very much.

My heart aches for the moms in Newtown. I grieve the hero teachers and staff that put their students' lives above their own. My parents are teachers. My friends are teachers. Those kids are the same age as mine. Lord, come quickly.

Talk to your kids. Tell them you love them. Most importantly, tell them how Jesus loves them. I say over and over, if it is the only thing I accomplish as a mother--that my children KNOW that Jesus loves them--I have succeeded. If Jesus is filling their hearts--then evil cannot.

2012 In Review

When I logged onto facebook today there was a link to review my highlights from 2012. I'm not really sure how they determine which posts were the most interesting, but I decided to do my own.

First visit to dentist

First day of re-starting homeschooling

Library Days

Annual shaving cream slide

Bangs!

Emergency room visit

No more training wheels

Buena Vista

Farmers' Markets

14th Anniversary

Betsy

Camping & fishing

Knitting

First day of school (pre-K and 2nd grade)

First mini golf

Thanksgiving

First teeth

With Christmas still to come!

Day Off

I'm taking the day off. Mom's don't get days off, but I'm rejecting that notion today. I'm not sick (though, I'm fighting a headache and general tired/not feeling so great). I just want a day off.

Here's how a day off works for momma:

1. MY schedule. Most of my days revolve around the schedules of others. Today--we eat when I want to eat, get dressed when I want to get dressed, work when I want to work, and so on. Don't like it? Find your own food. My kids are thankfully now old enough to feed themselves.

2. FREE from worry/guilt/pressure to perform. Most days I do everything because I should. Because it's good for me/us/the world. Not always because I want to. (Before you get all holy-than-thou, I do take joy in my work, but we all need a break sometimes.) Guess what--today, it's only if I want to. Workout? If and when I feel like it. Eat something not-so-perfectly healthy? Yeah, maybe. I'm giving myself permission to do whatever, whenever, and not think twice about it.

3. DO something I don't usually get to do. Or several somethings, if I choose to. I'm going to hang out with some girlfriends today at my favorite restaurant. I'd really like to start a couple knitting projects and get lights on the tree. We'll see.

 Basically, there is no to-do list today. There is no schedule. I'm going to hang out with my kids, without hurrying.

 In other news: I really love Food Network. It may be all I do today.

Clean Your Room

I can't believe this is working. It's ridiculously simple, but for my kids--it works. 

You see, my kids were professional slackers when it came to cleaning their rooms. Eden would break down in tears over even the thought of having to clean her room. They'd get it done--only IF I stood over their shoulders telling them what to do with every little thing. Who has time for that?

So, one day, and with a fresh pad of sticky notes, I wrote them each a list. They are obviously my children, because even the thought of 1. a sticky note of their own AND 2. a list--they were giddy. On each note I wrote:

1. put away books

2. put away clothes

3. put away toys

4. throw away trash

5. vacuum

That's it. And something about only five things--only having to do ONE thing at a time--this made all the difference at our house. I tried reward systems, charts, bribes, threats--you name it. This is working for us, and I am thrilled.

Random Thoughts

I'd really like to write about the many things going on in our life right now, but this is a public blog--and I'm conscious of who might read this. So, until the dust settles, here's the surface level stuff:

Homeschooling is going great! Yeah, sure, we have our days, but for the most part it's awesome. I shake my head every time I meet a mom who says something like, "You homeschool? Wow. I could never do that." I respond the same everytime, "You can--if you wanted to." Honestly, I think most of them don't want to--either because they have unrealistic expectations or they don't have any desire to be that role in their kids lives. Totally not judging either stance. You really shouldn't homeschool unless you want to. It would be a chore and not a great experience for you or your kids. However, if you do want to--YOU CAN.

We switched history programs (because I can do that). What we had wasn't working. It was just not the right fit for me. The kids were indifferent. I went to my back up plan: "The Story of the World" by Susan Wise Bauer. We've been using the Wise/Bauer books for English and LOVE them, so this fit well into what we're doing already.

I can't stress enough how much I love how homeschooling fits our life, rather than working around a public school's schedule. More than that, we can fit school around our needs. Case in point--we had a cold last week. Still able to do school. We would have missed school had we been in public or even private school. We just did it in our jammies, and took more breaks.

I've started eating gluten-free, dairy free, and sugar-free. I'm blogging about that on www.lovelandfoodjournal.com. So far, so good. Just an experiment. We'll see where it goes.

We started a winter farmers' market. It's going well, so far--growing steadily. I'm praying we'll at least break even, but it would be great if it provided a bit for Christmas this year. Honestly, that will be the only way we can buy any gifts.

The last few days I've made a real effort to focus on being mom. I've prioritized homeschooling, housecleaning, and cooking. It's wonderful. Surprisingly so. I started today with both my sweet babes cuddled up next to me in bed. It's amazing how just a few minutes of cuddling can make the day go better.

E's 5th birthday is this weekend. I am aching over this. My baby is turning 5. How did that happen? She, on the other hand, is ecstatic. She has a count down going, she can't wait to open gifts, and she's got plans for the party. I've also noticed that with turning 5 we're also getting attitude. Eye-rolling, frustrated sighs, and exasperated tones. I was not expecting that at all, and the first few times I just stared at her like a space alien had arrived and taken over her body. I didn't even respond. I think I was in shock. Well, today we started nipping that in the bud.

Speaking of nipping in the bud--Who out there is watching Duck Dynasty? Oh my word, this show is hilarious.

I read through several previous posts, and I've noticed a total lack in photos. I shal remedy that soon. Once I fix my camera. :( Which, unfortunately, means a drive to either Denver or Boulder.

My Opinions On Raising Kids::Food

From my CF posts, you know that food is a big deal at our house. O requires lots of calories, but I want to make sure that every calorie counts for his overall health--not just what affects his CF. E doesn't need as many calories, and she's more prone to eat little meals all day, rather than O's 3 huge meals plus a snack each day. Then there is my husband who disappears when he turns sideways no matter how much he eats, and me who will balloon up no matter what I eat (or don't eat, for that matter). Sounds complicated, especially when you add in each person's tastes in food, but it's not. My husband and I are foodies, and that has made this more of a fun experiment than chore. I don't want to kid you though, there are some days that I actually want to just go to a fast food joint. Hopefully, though, this post will help you avoid those days.

From other posts you know I'm a HUGE advocate for breastfeeding. What you might have also picked up on is that I'm pretty adamant that kids DO NOT have cow's milk until AFTER they're 2 years of age. (If you want details on why, send me a message--or, pick up a copy of The Maker's Diet--it's a great read.) Back to breastfeeding. It's truly the best way to get your kid eating right from the get go. Yes, I know there are many circumstances and situations that make breastfeeding difficult or impossible. However, if you CHOOSE not to breastfeed--you are really limiting your child's health and well being. It's researched & documented. Just google it.

Essential to breastfeeding is what YOU put in your mouth. The same holds true later, after breastfeeding. Like everything with kids, this is the start to a long time habit of your kids imitating you. Your kids are watching you, even when you eat. Your choices directly impact their choices. I don't like broccoli, or peas, or green beans, or cooked spinach, or pretty much most any vegetable (especially the green ones). Sorry to disappoint you. Do I eat them? Yep, and especially when the kids are watching.

We strive for balance. Protein, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and good fats at every meal. We're not perfect. Yesterday the kids ate cereal for breakfast, followed by eggs and pancakes for lunch, and rice and chicken for dinner. I did manage to get them to eat a few bites of my Chicken Asian Salad (with cabbage, carrots, lettuce, and bell peppers). Those days happen, and it's okay. (My kids are currently eating cereal even though it will ruin their dinner.)

I'm also a very mean mom. My kids must eat what I give them. Even if it means they sit at the table for hours. I'll work with them to find a way to choke down those veggies, but it's going to happen. This has been consistent since the beginning. I think they believe at sometime we'll cave. However, when we give them something new we only require one bite. You have to try it, and if you don't like it--okay. We'll try again some other day. That's key--trying something once doesn't work. Giving them ample opportunity to try different foods helps develop a palate for healthy foods.

One exception that we've made for our kids on trying food: potatoes. My kids do not like mashed potatoes. Or baked, or smothered in cheese, or made into a casserole, or anything except fried and roasted. It's something I'll never understand, and I sincerely hope they change their minds. We rarely have potatoes because of this, which is very sad. I miss potatoes. We've had some success with yukon golds and reds, but Russets are out. I think it's a texture thing.

We love treats and sweets just like everybody. Just like most families it's healthy first, then the sweets. We don't have dessert available every day either. This is something to start from the beginning. We didn't allow sweets until each child reached the age of 2. Yes, even on their 1st birthdays they didn't have cake! (Remember, I'm a mean mom.) O was thrilled with a bowl of oatmeal (though I made him a sugar free muffin), and E loved her sweet potato.

I could keep going on about food, but I'll try to keep it to 10 main points:

1. Start 'em young.
2. Be a good example to them.
3. Don't keep junk food in the house. Make it a special occasion.
4. Include them in the gardening and the cooking. You'll be shocked how this perks their interest in foods. (Don't give up. O could care less at age 2 about the peas in the garden, but at almost 5 he eats carrots if HE gets to chop them.) When they get older, they'll be part of the menu planning & grocery shopping.
5. Make good choices when eating out.
6. Avoid fried and processed at all costs.
7. When you travel, have them try the local food. (Unless you're in the deep-fried south.) ;)
8. Be honest. If it's spicy, tell them. If it's sweet, tell them. Talk about what you're eating--where it came from, how it got to their plates, etc. Make food interesting. Tell them about the vitamins and good things in their food, and how it effects their body. (I also like to tell them how hard candy gets stuck in their teeth and causes tooth decay. This back fires when I get caught eating sweets or junk food.)
9. Create a monthly meal plan, seasonally based. Once you have a couple months down, you can just rotate various meals throughout the weeks in the season. Batch cooking & freezing will save you from last minute take out.
10. Don't beat yourself up for not being "perfect." No one is perfect. Do your best, and try to have fun with your food. If it's your only focus, you're going to get stressed. I'm betting even the "experts" have ice cream for dinner from time to time. At least that's what I told myself when I had cookies for breakfast this morning.

I think you should check out PlanToEat.com. A friend of mine started this site to help his wife, and it has been a life saver (& money saver) for us. The burden of planning meals, making our grocery list, and searching recipes has been simplified with one easy online tool. The best is that you can share recipes for friends. So, if you sign up--find my name & take advantage of all the recipes that I've already uploaded.

Homeschooling Around YOUR Schedule

I was going into 8th grade when my folks decided to homeschool us. A big reason they finally made "the jump" was time. Homeschooling allowed us to spend more time together as a family. With both parents back at college and working--we would have been latch-key kids for far too much time during the day.

When I first attempted to homeschool, I was way too focused on schedules, getting "it all" done in a day, and overall just putting way too many rules and restrictions on our life. Now that we've started a bakery our schedule is a bit unconventional. And that's okay. This time around with homeschooling, I'm making it work for us, instead of us being a slave to the schedule.

Today is Monday. For our family that is recovery day. We bake all weekend and sell at farmers' markets. It's exhausting, as we sleep very little until Sunday afternoon. We also need to sleep in on Monday. Of course, since we bake and sell all weekend, the house cleaning gets puts aside. So, that's what we started with today--cleaning house. We listened to worship music--LOUD, and Little Bun did hand motions (hilarious). We followed that up with reading--Big Loaf read to Little Bun. After that we had an art/history/Bible lesson. The kids made playdoh sculptures of the days of creation, and then had to explain them to me. (This allowed me time to workout and shower.) Then, a picnic lunch with friends. We skipped rest time today, since we didn't get much "book work" done. This was the kids choice. They had the option of rest time, but they know they can't play with iPods or watch movies until schoolwork is done. So, we completed all of our English lessons and Math lessons today--in less than 2 hours. Now both kids are happily enjoying quiet time (one watching a movie, the other playing games on his iPod) while The Baker (who also happens to teach music) is teaching a guitar lesson.

See how that worked out? It's not our "normal" schedule, but getting to see these friends today, sleeping in,  and cleaning house was important. Rest time moved from 1:30 to 4 p.m. We adapted to fit our needs and wants. This is a big reason I love homeschooling.

You Should Not Write When

You are tired & have been drinking. It was a lovely evening. Good night.

Word-full Wednesday

In the blogosphere, many mommy blogs do "Wordless Wednesday." I'm going to buck the trend, because what a day we had.
--(Side note: This made me think of A Good Day by Henke. Go get it. Read it. Your kids will love it.)

I woke up early in an effort to actually start school on time (which, I haven't yet been successful at this week--close, but not technically on time). For me, waking up early apparently only means more opportunity for crap to happen.
We didn't have eggs. We didn't have milk. We did not have fruit. Toast is not a substantial breakfast.
I decided to delay school for a quick trip to the market. It's shopping day anyway. I was hopeful that we'd be home & fed with enough time to start 30 minutes late. Still enough time to get it all done.
Yeah, right.
By the time we were done eating it was 9:40 (school starts at 8:30). I told the kids we'd have to hurry through school, b/c we still had a bunch of schoolwork to do. Owen, my son, the genius, suggests: "Mom, how about we run errands & then do school so we don't have to go fast?" Sounds like a good idea to me.
We book it to the USPS--NO LINES--a miracle, folks. My mood brightens. Next up: the bank--again no lines, and a chipper teller who gets it done fast. Yeah!
Our next stop is to Target. Monday I bought a shirt for Owen only to discover that it has a small tear. I knew it was the only one at the Target in our town, so we went to the next town over--which, was close to the grocery store we needed to go to. Hurrah.
Sadly, they did not have the shirt. They did have this though:

I would like to inform the world that this game is NOT called Farkle. I have been playing it since I was about 3 years old. It's called Greedy. Anyone who grew up in Alaska, going to Bible camp KNOWS this game as Greedy.
The Target dude told me that the other Target, that is 2.98 miles away--so says Google maps, has four of these shirts. So, I head that way, but first I have to stop at the grocery store.
Love this grocery store. I get what I need, but I notice that my list is a bit off. Several items are missing. Hmmmmm...something went terribly wrong apparently with my online planner. (Which means yet another grocery store trip this week...*sigh*)
As I head to the next Target, I call the store in hopes of someone finding the shirt & saving me some time. I dial & get the auto attendant. I push 0. It rings...the auto attendant. I repeat this over & over. I finally hit the button for electronics department button, get a live person who finds another live person who goes to find the shirt. However, by this time--I am in the Target parking lot. The gal says she has found my shirt & brings it to me at the front. NOT THE SAME SHIRT. *face palm* Thanks anyway, Target.
I ring Gramma. She'll bring her fray check & we'll do some creative stitching. (Owen really loves the shirt.) Gramma is awesome.
Home. Lunch. Start school. At 1 p.m. *sigh* We get a bunch done, but the kids are zonked. Nap time is a must--for everyone. We sleep until 4:30. Wonderful. More school--we get the basics done by 6:15 pm. The kids are outside playing (thankful it's still daylight outside), and now I'm getting ready to get dinner done. Then, a game of Farkle Greedy, and we're off to bed.
Best news of the day--Matt finally found a mixer (and a good deal) for the bakery. Yeah! Now his arms won't fall off from literally mixing and kneading everything by hand.
What a day.

Our first day of homeschool 2012-13 happened yesterday. Best part--my husband telling me how proud he was of what (little) we had accomplished. Owen & Eden were eager to start--I really wasn't planning on getting going until September, but when the new books and supplies arrived there was no stopping them. I thought a little post on our homeschooling journey would be appropriate.

For those who are interested, here's our line up:

English
-The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading (Wise)
-First Language Lessons (Wise)
-Writing With Ease (Bauer)
-Plaid Phonics (Modern Curriculum Press) Levels K & B
-Spelling Workout (Modern Curriculum Press) Level B

Math
-Math In Focus (HMH) Kindergarten and Grade 2

History & Bible
-Mystery of History
-Creating our own Book of the Centuries timeline
-Bible verse memorization

Science
-NoeoScience (check it out here: http://www.noeoscience.com/)

Art
-Various crafts that align with the themes in our history, literature, and science studies. (I find a lot of art  projects, as well as projects for other subjects on pinterest.)

Music
-piano lessons

PE
-swim lessons

Owen is also attending Access, a homeschool enrichment program, on Fridays. He'll get quite a bit more art, PE, science, music, as well as Spanish on Fridays.
If it wasn't obvious from the line-up, we are following many recommendations from The Well Trained Mind (Wise & Bauer).

Again, for those that are interested--our (very flexible) daily schedule:
8:30-9:40  English
9:50-10:30 Math
10:40-noon History & Bible (MW) Science (T) Art (TH)
Noon Lunch
-wrap up & clean up-
1:30-3:30 Rest
3:30-4 Piano
5 PM Swim (MW)

Why do I say "very flexible?" We just started a bakery. We are busy and tired. That's an understatement. We didn't do Science today. I decided that getting O's resp therapy done (which we forgot yesterday) was more important, as well as getting a good nap done. And you know what? That's okay. That's what is awesome about homeschool.  Making it work for your family's needs. Sometimes our schedule will include a trip to the library, zoo, museum, Menchies--whatever.
We're also schooling year-round. We school 3 weeks and then take a week off. Most of the time. For instance, we started this week, but we already had a camping trip on the agenda for next week. (Of course, camping lends itself to several "homeschooling learning moments." While we won't be doing textbook work, they'll still be learning.)

So, how do I manage two kids of different learning levels, styles, & abilities?
1. Eden can learn along with Owen in almost every subject. In English, we're actually starting at her level. Owen can benefit from the review, and "helps" teach his sister. In writing, where Owen is much more advanced--I give her more simple sentences. She needs my attention to ensure proper technique, where as Owen could copy chapter books for hours on end.
2. During English we have "free reading time." I have a stack of books they can choose from. When I work one-on-one with either kid--the other picks a book, and gets comfy on the sofa for about 15 minutes.
3. Eden needs a few more breaks than Owen. She likes to draw and color, so I have supplies handy. She knows the rule though--quiet at the table. Sometimes she stays with us--sometimes she goes to her room. I also have several supplemental workbooks at her grade level. Easy worksheets that need little assistance from me, and she gets a bit more practice in her various learning areas.
BONUS: My friend gave me a dry-erase board made from--get this--shower surround from Home Depot. Seriously. It totally works better than expensive dry erase boards. Eden loves to write & erase, write & erase.

Okay, so if you've read all of this, obviously you must have some interest in homeschooling. Here's the first thing you should know (given to me from a long-time homeschooling, wise woman):
FIRST GET THEM TO OBEY.
If you have not taught your child HOW to obey, homeschooling is going to be rough. They need & want rules and boundaries. Your authority must be clear. Until you do this, nothing else really matters. You will have to constantly & consistently be establishing this throughout their lives. Obedience. Obedience. Obedience. It's not a one-shot deal. It takes practice.

Moving On

We started a bakery! Check it out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CramersHandmadeBreadCo

Pity

In the last month, we have received numerous phone calls, FB messages, e-mails, and texts from well-meaning friends and "others" to express their sympathy for us. I know that they're intention is to comfort, I guess, but really I'd love for it to stop. No one has died. We're moving on. We're okay.
Yes, we're heartbroken. Yes, it hurts. It's very doubtful that you can even fathom what we feel right now, and even more doubtful that I could begin to explain the depth of pain and emotions. It doesn't matter though, we don't need pity. We're dealing in our own way.
You know what we love? The friends who drop by with food, beer, hugs, flowers. The ones who say--we're totally going out this weekend--prepare yourself. The ones who ask us about our life. (You did know we did other stuff besides this school, right?) The ones who totally get that one second we may be laughing, screaming the next, and then in tears. The ones that don't just say they're there if we need them, they literally are there. The ones who aren't making a big deal out of anything, but simply stand by us.
I am especially thankful for this band of brothers that have taken it upon themselves to stand as protectors. Not literally, but more spiritually. These are true men. In addition to my amazing husband, these men have made me feel safe and protected. They've lifted my husband up, and stood by him. It totally rocks.

Injustice

Last night, in a cruel and calculated effort, I was voted off the LCS school board. Prior to this meeting, and for the last 8 months, the Principal and I had been at odds. Conflict was never resolved despite any effort I put forth to do so.
Each time I spoke out in meetings, in an attempt to hold the Principal accountable for actions he had taken that I believed to be unjust or against policy--I was silenced and then Matt was retaliated on at work until Matt was finally fired.


At last night's board meeting, the board president (and my co-founder of the school) re-instated a 7th board member who had recently resigned (her pastor). Up until this point the board was divided 3/3. By bringing this member on literally the night before, she had the 4 votes necessary to vote me off.


Wednesday night I sent an e-mail to board members calling for a school re-structure or for Mr. Yu's resignation due to his lack of school business leadership. A warped, twisted opinion of that e-mail was spread across the school to staff and parents. Several parents and teachers took the public comment time at the board meeting to go beyond sharing their displeasure, but to viciously attack me. None of these people actually contacted me to learn the truth, I didn't even really know most of them. One referred to me as the "cancer needing to be cut out." It was one of the worst experiences of my life, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


I offered to meet with board members to address their issues, but it was clear they were out for blood. Two members were vindictive to say the least. Two were too coward to do anything, but what they were told. The remaining two stood by my side.


I am heartbroken, and incredibly sad for LCS. Personally, I am trying to reconcile two years of sacrifice, two years of lost time with my family, with the atrocities that have occurred in less than a month. 

Does Anyone Blog Anymore?

I went through my list of blogs I follow, or rather I should say blogs I followed. Facebook has pretty much taken over, hasn't it? I miss blogging. I miss writing. Don't get me wrong. I love facebook. Though it feeds into our immediate gratification culture, and while I think that's an overused statement--it's true.

So, what's new with the Cramer family? Well, we finally started that school. You know, the one that consumed nearly every minute of every day and still sorta does? That one. It's going okay. The Principal and I do not see eye to eye on much, and there is some major conflict between us. I hate that, and I wish it were different. I just keep praying. This was God's idea, God's work, and I trust God will resolve what needs to be resolved.

We're in a holding pattern right now. Not really sure "what's next." Matt is the Asst. Principal at the school. I am at home with the kids. Yes, kids--plural. We pulled Owen out of LCS to homeschool once again. It is just right for his needs. We're very happy with this decision.

Both kids have been taking swim lessons since last summer and it is fantastic! They both have serious talent for it, but in different ways.

Matt and I had a close call last week. A drunk driver was right behind us, swerved & ran into a tree. It was amazing that he didn't hit us or kill himself. Emergency vehicles responded in seconds--literally. I don't think a full minute had passed before someone arrived. Four fire trucks, 2 ambulances, and several police cars. It was an awesome sight.

I really should blog more. I guess blogging is SO 2010.