Friday, October 31, 2008

Wait, wait, THERE'S MORE

We have video too! This is Eden jumping. Please notice how my living room is incredibly messy.


Be sure to listen for Owen giving Matt instructions on how to use the camera: "Da butt, kay? Da butt. Da button, kay?" Translation: Push that button, dad, okay? That button.



Eden just sounds so funny in this one.

Photo Catch-Up

So, it's been nearly a month since I posted any visuals of the kiddos. Sorry, mom.
My excuses: I use up the batteries taking the pictures (and letting a 3-year-old take pictures), if I get the camera out Owen insists on his turn, and I take really crappy pictures (even worse than the 3-year-old) that I'm embarassed to post online.

Rather than post all 143 images individually, or try to pick the best out of what is a huge collection of blurry and dark photography--I have created a slideshow. Enjoy!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Back to what you'd really like to hear about..

THE KIDS!!!

Eden is walking--really walking. She's got the whole "Frankenstein" walk down, and it's awesome watching her get a bit better at it every day. I'm working on getting a good video of it, but when I start cheering and clapping she starts laughing and falls down.
I caught Owen carrying Eden yesterday. She was in my room (which, is a "no-no"), and he hauled her up & plunked her down in the dining room. Since it looked rather uncomfortable for Eden, I asked Owen not to do that again. Owen is a big helper though, and has really taken to heart being a big brother & keeping his sister out of trouble. (Nevermind the antics at the dining table.)
Owen has managed to find 3 books at the library, on his own, at different times, all about trains. He is very excited about his finds, and delights in showing them to me when he comes home.
Eden is rapidly learning, I'm amazed at how quickly she catches on to something/anything/everything. She's got Anatomy 101 down pretty well, and will easily help you find your nose, should you lose it.

Oh, and if you are so interested that you do want to know about the latest in my work drama saga--I have had three "interviews" (more like chats with friends), who all are interested in hiring me. Mostly freelancing or work-at-home opportunities that will allow me to continue putting Matt & the kids as a first priority. God's plan is so clear & evident in our lives right now that despite our financial circumstances we're really at peace and very happy.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

End of Story

After a weekend of prayer and consideration over my job at
Wells Fargo we made the decision for me not to continue working
there. I resigned on Monday.

The leading we have been getting in seeking the Lord on this is that
I'm to be supporting Matt's success in business; growing his studio
with my talents and growing the parts of my business that I can
do now. As an answer to that prayer and following the leading of the
Lord, Matt got two amps and one keyboard in for repair as well as a
contract for building an amp cabinet.

We appreciate your prayer and encouragement as we follow the Lord's
leading in our lives.

(That's edited from an email Matt sent out to some of our family members yesterday.)

I feel like I've spent the last few days justifying this decision--to others, to myself, but it simply comes down to the fact that it wasn't what I was supposed to be doing. Right now, today, we know that I'm supposed to be home. I'm still open to working, and I'm actively seeking employment whenever I'm not taking care of my first priorities--Matt and the kids.

We also felt like THAT job was not right. From the day of the interview through my first day, it never felt right. I asked for 20 hours or less, they insisted on 20-25 (and mostly 25). I asked for 4 hours a day, they said 5 (and then had me stay late). I asked for a lunch break to be able to eat & pump, they gave me 15, and were irritated that I asked for a private room to pump. I kept telling myself (and so did everyone around me) that it was just temporary, and I could make it work. After four years working in a Christian environment it was a shock to my system to be surrounded by people who not only didn't behave in a Christian-like manner, it wasn't even professional, and extremely disrespectful towards me. By the end of the day I was sick to my stomach emotionally. After struggling with depression for nearly a year, I AM NOT GOING BACK TO THAT DARK PLACE. No money is worth that.

Thankfully, we have other options to sustain us financially. God is a great provider. I realize now that as soon as I accepted the job I had started worrying about money as I had before. Once I resigned I felt relieved and at peace again.

I truly feel that my "job" right now is to step aside, and let Matt take the role as SOLE financial provider for this family. I've realized in the last 6 months that I'm really good at supporting others & helping them succeed. I see God using me to make Matt a success in the role he's chosen for Matt. It took one day for me to realize that I'm HAPPY in that role as supporter. I don't need more than that. I have so much to say on this, but I'm going to cut it short. I have some work to do.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

More to the story

My first day was less than desirable, worse than I expected, and not at all what I'd hoped for.

Matt asked me if it was just the feeling that I'm supposed to be home, or if it was that job in-particular. The more I stew on that the more I think it's mostly THAT JOB. I could provide you with a bulleted list of all the reasons why I don't like it, and why it just isn't the right "fit" for me, but who wants to read that?

My last post is still truly what I feel--that my job is being home, raising my kids. Moreover--this current job makes my priority one (the kiddos) stressful and difficult. I came home exhausted, frustrated, saddened, and felt myself crumbling inside into that dark place I was earlier this year. That scared me. I can only imagine how hard it would be on a day that Matt has a closing shift (meaning I'd be home alone with the kids after a hard day of work). I'll find out a taste of that tomorrow (Matt has worship rehearsal until late into the evening). Those days are hard enough without me working.

I'm trying to stay positive and give this a fair chance, but my gut has never let me down. My gut is screaming RUN! I've made a few contacts this weekend, and I'm doing a desperate job search to find something else fast.

So, now I know what I would like for you to pray for: A flexible, positive, and uplifiting part-time job.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A prayer request.

I start work at Wells Fargo tomorrow. I wouldn't say I'm anxious. I've worked for a bank before. I'm not excited either.
I don't want to go.
It's not that I mind the work--I enjoy working, and enjoy helping out with the finances.

It. Doesn't. Feel. Right.

I/We struggled with the decision for months (if not longer) for me to leave work and be home full time. We weighed pros and cons, debated over when and how, agonized over it, but it came down to the FACT that we felt strongly that GOD WANTED THIS. There would be no arguing that point. We have been reminded over and over, and shown that it was the right time and the right decision. Bills keep coming though, and we need to pay them.

People keep telling me, and I keep telling myself--it's only temporary. It's just until...(fill in the blank). That doesn't keep it from feeling like I'm going against what the Almighty wants. Now, do I believe it's a sin to go back to work...no. God knows we need to get rid of this debt. God wants it gone as bad as we do. God wants me home too. I know He's working on this, I know it will be fine. Knowing all of that doesn't take away the queasy feeling in my stomache, and the physical pull I feel to stay home.

I'm not sure exactly what to ask for in prayer, just please take this before God for me, will ya?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hats and Apples

I told you in a previous post how much Eden likes hats. Here's further proof:



Thank you, Kristin, Sophia, Georgia, and Chloe for all the new hats!!!

We also discovered yesterday that she likes apples (no need to dice in small, baby bite-size pieces). Those two little bottom teeth did some serious damage on that McIntosh.



Saturday, October 4, 2008

Owen's Day Out with Thomas

Last month, Gramma and Grampa Cramer took Owen (& the rest of us) to see Thomas at the railroad museum in Golden. What a day!
We started out with a train ride with Thomas himself, and then we explored the numerous Thomas activities at the museum.
Owen was in his element as he marched around the museum grounds! He eagerly jumped in line to have his picture taken with Sir Topham Hatt, and climbed onto old trains to check out all the stuff inside.
We saw model trains, big trains, old trains, new trains, toy trains, trains, trains, trains. Then we saw some trains.

Friday, October 3, 2008

If Your Imagination Isn't Enough








Okay, so just before I turned the camera on these two kids were "dancing" in their chairs--really be-boppin' to the music. Of course, as soon as the camera comes on they look at me as if I'm a freak & just stare at me for 45 seconds.

Use Your Imagination

I would love to share some adorable videos and pictures of my kids with you, but my almost 3 1/2 year old insists for "his turn" every time I get the camera out. That means he either wants to take the pictures, or be in every shot.

So, here are some oh-so-adorable stories. Just use your imagination.

After we got home from visiting Matt at work tonight Owen ran to the back door, removed his shoes and coat, and went outside. Yes, that's what I said. We came from outside, went inside where he removed his coat & shoes, and then he went outside again (still wearing socks--that's a new one, he normally takes those of too).
He then found a bug. He came running inside. "Mom, I need a towel." We use old kitchen towels to snap flies that dare enter my kitchen. I told him not to get a towel, that this bug wasn't deserving of death (after all, it was still outside where it belongs), and that he should get a cup to catch it. Owen liked this idea.
He went back outside with the cup.
"Where'd it go, Mom?"
"I don't know Owen. Did you call out for it?"
"Bug, where are you? Where'd ya go? Bug? BUUUUUUUGGGGG?" (Now with one hand cupped around his mouth. This continued for about 30 seconds.) "Oh, there it is." (Happy glee, and points to flying bug in air.) "Oh, it's gone." (Bug flies out of reach.) "Bug gone, Mom." (matter-of-fact) Owen then proceeded to run around the backyard in his socks.

Eden LOVES hats. She's been stealing her brother's train engineer cap & crawling around the house. She puts it on over her eyes, and then bumps the bill into everything. She cracks herself up doing this, which of course makes everyone start giggling, which makes her giggle even more.
We blow raspberries on Eden's belly any chance we get, and she thinks it's hilarious. The other day I was laying on the floor playing with the kids, and she crawled over, lifted my shirt, and attempted blowing one on my belly! It was too funny watching her bob her wide-mouth smile on my belly. She's finally been able to get a sound out, but it's so funny watching her try.

Owen is one of the most caring kids I've ever met. Anytime we stub a toe, or bump into something, or for any reason say "Ouch," Owen says "Oh, Momma/Dada hurt? Wanna bandage? Okay, Momma/Dada? If he catches me crying for any reason he says "Momma, okay?" Then he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes, and plants a kiss on my cheek. "Okay, Momma?" Then he wipes my tears.
I'm so proud of our little boy. He has read through the entire Old Testament of his early reader Bible. He really seems to be enjoying these stories, and I even caught him a few times "reading" ahead. He also insists on prayers at meal times, and has been teaching his sister how to fold her hands. Today he asked that we fold our hands, but instead of bowing our heads he wanted us to lift our folded hands into the air during the prayer. We did so, and after the "Amen" Owen said to us "Good job!"


A few days ago I had just finished nursing Eden, and I headed to the bedroom to pump. Usually the kids follow me, but they were already involved with their toys. It usually only takes me a couple minutes, so I let them be. At first they were giggling, but then it became very quiet.
"Owen, what are you doing?"
"Nothing, momma." Yeah, right. I quickly finished & went to the living room. Both kids had greasy hair sticking in every direction. Owen was rubbing something in his hands. Then I saw the bottle of baby lotion on the floor. Owen had smeared lotion all through his hair and Eden's--who was quite delighted with her new hairdo. At least they smelled good all day.