Anti-Resolution List

I am a goal-setter and a list-maker. New Year's resolutions are a natural part of what I love to do, but this year is different. The past few years I've achieved plenty. I've done much. I've given more and more. Anyone that knows us, knows that 2012 was an incredibly difficult year for us. We are definitely glad to close that chapter, and thankful to move on to another. 

Through this difficult time we've struggled to hear God's voice. Speaking for myself, I felt cut off and in the dark. Left to wander...and wonder. It was awful. I cried out for my God to speak. I cried out for my ears to be open to hear. I poured my heart out, "God, oh God, why?" After what felt like an eternity...my God spoke and I heard.

"I'm trying to slow you down."

When I heard Him speak, all at once my heart swelled and I was warm. I felt relief wash over me. I wanted to scream and tell everyone. I was bursting. I told my husband and my pastor. Both rejoiced. I told my sisters who had been praying over me. We wept and hugged. 

It's true that in the times of my life that I hear God daily, confident in what He has me doing, and assured of where He's taking me--I achieve and accomplish much (ever making Phil. 4:13 so very true in my life). Lately, when I was--what felt like--closed off from God, I was aimless and felt adrift. Very unnerving for someone like me (recall: list-maker, goal-setter).

Despite the many changes that happened in 2012, I still carry a lot on my plate. Day by day, the door has closed on many projects I had going. God is stripping away, and literally slowing me down. Purposefully giving me less. This would normally make me feel awful, but I feel radiant. I feel free to truly focus on the FEW things I have set before me now. 

I have an anti-resolution list this year. Items begin with words like:
1. Less
2. Fewer
3. Don't
4. No
5. Stop

I'm slowing down. It's not easy (though, starting 2013 with the flu helped slow life down). It's probably harder for me than constantly achieving. I'm kind of excited too. The anticipation of wondering God's purpose in slowing me down is a bit exhilarating. Is something big coming? Is it more refining? Blessings? Or maybe simply for my own health? I'm content to wait and find out.

Philippians is one of my favorite books of the Bible. So, I'll finish this post with one of my favorites passages (Phil 4:4-9) which is always relevant in my journey:


⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Better From Me

As yesterday's horrifying news was constantly berating us, I wondered how much was getting through to my kids. I made a point to keep the TV off, but after "muting" the radio for the 100th time my intuitive 7yo son asked, "Mom, why do you keep turning down the radio?" I swallowed hard and debated on how to answer. I wanted to be truthful, but I wasn't sure exactly what to say.

"They're talking about something that I don't think you should hear about right now."

Of course, this led to a barrage of questions, and now his sister's curiosity was peaked too. I thought then that it would be much better to hear from me what had happened, then to get it from another child or adult, or heaven forbid--from the media.

With carefully chosen words, I explained that a young man with evil in his heart shot and killed some kids in a state far away. This young man also killed some teachers and himself. I kept it to a bare minimum, and avoided any extra adjectives or details.

My childrens' responses are so very telling of their personalities:

The Little Man: "Well, it will be okay, because God will bring them back to life."
Mini Maven: "Well, if anybody tries to do that to us, we'll punch him in the face!"

After telling my daughter that sticking around to punch someone who has a loaded weapon isn't the wisest of choices, I explained to them that if they have fears or worries over what happened (or if they want to talk at all about this) that they need to do that with Mom or Dad only. I helped them understand that a lot of kids don't know what happened and it might be scary to hear. Of course, I also reminded them that I protect them, and they are surrounded by people that love them very much.

My heart aches for the moms in Newtown. I grieve the hero teachers and staff that put their students' lives above their own. My parents are teachers. My friends are teachers. Those kids are the same age as mine. Lord, come quickly.

Talk to your kids. Tell them you love them. Most importantly, tell them how Jesus loves them. I say over and over, if it is the only thing I accomplish as a mother--that my children KNOW that Jesus loves them--I have succeeded. If Jesus is filling their hearts--then evil cannot.

2012 In Review

When I logged onto facebook today there was a link to review my highlights from 2012. I'm not really sure how they determine which posts were the most interesting, but I decided to do my own.

First visit to dentist

First day of re-starting homeschooling

Library Days

Annual shaving cream slide

Bangs!

Emergency room visit

No more training wheels

Buena Vista

Farmers' Markets

14th Anniversary

Betsy

Camping & fishing

Knitting

First day of school (pre-K and 2nd grade)

First mini golf

Thanksgiving

First teeth

With Christmas still to come!

Day Off

I'm taking the day off. Mom's don't get days off, but I'm rejecting that notion today. I'm not sick (though, I'm fighting a headache and general tired/not feeling so great). I just want a day off.

Here's how a day off works for momma:

1. MY schedule. Most of my days revolve around the schedules of others. Today--we eat when I want to eat, get dressed when I want to get dressed, work when I want to work, and so on. Don't like it? Find your own food. My kids are thankfully now old enough to feed themselves.

2. FREE from worry/guilt/pressure to perform. Most days I do everything because I should. Because it's good for me/us/the world. Not always because I want to. (Before you get all holy-than-thou, I do take joy in my work, but we all need a break sometimes.) Guess what--today, it's only if I want to. Workout? If and when I feel like it. Eat something not-so-perfectly healthy? Yeah, maybe. I'm giving myself permission to do whatever, whenever, and not think twice about it.

3. DO something I don't usually get to do. Or several somethings, if I choose to. I'm going to hang out with some girlfriends today at my favorite restaurant. I'd really like to start a couple knitting projects and get lights on the tree. We'll see.

 Basically, there is no to-do list today. There is no schedule. I'm going to hang out with my kids, without hurrying.

 In other news: I really love Food Network. It may be all I do today.

Clean Your Room

I can't believe this is working. It's ridiculously simple, but for my kids--it works. 

You see, my kids were professional slackers when it came to cleaning their rooms. Eden would break down in tears over even the thought of having to clean her room. They'd get it done--only IF I stood over their shoulders telling them what to do with every little thing. Who has time for that?

So, one day, and with a fresh pad of sticky notes, I wrote them each a list. They are obviously my children, because even the thought of 1. a sticky note of their own AND 2. a list--they were giddy. On each note I wrote:

1. put away books

2. put away clothes

3. put away toys

4. throw away trash

5. vacuum

That's it. And something about only five things--only having to do ONE thing at a time--this made all the difference at our house. I tried reward systems, charts, bribes, threats--you name it. This is working for us, and I am thrilled.

Random Thoughts

I'd really like to write about the many things going on in our life right now, but this is a public blog--and I'm conscious of who might read this. So, until the dust settles, here's the surface level stuff:

Homeschooling is going great! Yeah, sure, we have our days, but for the most part it's awesome. I shake my head every time I meet a mom who says something like, "You homeschool? Wow. I could never do that." I respond the same everytime, "You can--if you wanted to." Honestly, I think most of them don't want to--either because they have unrealistic expectations or they don't have any desire to be that role in their kids lives. Totally not judging either stance. You really shouldn't homeschool unless you want to. It would be a chore and not a great experience for you or your kids. However, if you do want to--YOU CAN.

We switched history programs (because I can do that). What we had wasn't working. It was just not the right fit for me. The kids were indifferent. I went to my back up plan: "The Story of the World" by Susan Wise Bauer. We've been using the Wise/Bauer books for English and LOVE them, so this fit well into what we're doing already.

I can't stress enough how much I love how homeschooling fits our life, rather than working around a public school's schedule. More than that, we can fit school around our needs. Case in point--we had a cold last week. Still able to do school. We would have missed school had we been in public or even private school. We just did it in our jammies, and took more breaks.

I've started eating gluten-free, dairy free, and sugar-free. I'm blogging about that on www.lovelandfoodjournal.com. So far, so good. Just an experiment. We'll see where it goes.

We started a winter farmers' market. It's going well, so far--growing steadily. I'm praying we'll at least break even, but it would be great if it provided a bit for Christmas this year. Honestly, that will be the only way we can buy any gifts.

The last few days I've made a real effort to focus on being mom. I've prioritized homeschooling, housecleaning, and cooking. It's wonderful. Surprisingly so. I started today with both my sweet babes cuddled up next to me in bed. It's amazing how just a few minutes of cuddling can make the day go better.

E's 5th birthday is this weekend. I am aching over this. My baby is turning 5. How did that happen? She, on the other hand, is ecstatic. She has a count down going, she can't wait to open gifts, and she's got plans for the party. I've also noticed that with turning 5 we're also getting attitude. Eye-rolling, frustrated sighs, and exasperated tones. I was not expecting that at all, and the first few times I just stared at her like a space alien had arrived and taken over her body. I didn't even respond. I think I was in shock. Well, today we started nipping that in the bud.

Speaking of nipping in the bud--Who out there is watching Duck Dynasty? Oh my word, this show is hilarious.

I read through several previous posts, and I've noticed a total lack in photos. I shal remedy that soon. Once I fix my camera. :( Which, unfortunately, means a drive to either Denver or Boulder.

My Opinions On Raising Kids::Food

From my CF posts, you know that food is a big deal at our house. O requires lots of calories, but I want to make sure that every calorie counts for his overall health--not just what affects his CF. E doesn't need as many calories, and she's more prone to eat little meals all day, rather than O's 3 huge meals plus a snack each day. Then there is my husband who disappears when he turns sideways no matter how much he eats, and me who will balloon up no matter what I eat (or don't eat, for that matter). Sounds complicated, especially when you add in each person's tastes in food, but it's not. My husband and I are foodies, and that has made this more of a fun experiment than chore. I don't want to kid you though, there are some days that I actually want to just go to a fast food joint. Hopefully, though, this post will help you avoid those days.

From other posts you know I'm a HUGE advocate for breastfeeding. What you might have also picked up on is that I'm pretty adamant that kids DO NOT have cow's milk until AFTER they're 2 years of age. (If you want details on why, send me a message--or, pick up a copy of The Maker's Diet--it's a great read.) Back to breastfeeding. It's truly the best way to get your kid eating right from the get go. Yes, I know there are many circumstances and situations that make breastfeeding difficult or impossible. However, if you CHOOSE not to breastfeed--you are really limiting your child's health and well being. It's researched & documented. Just google it.

Essential to breastfeeding is what YOU put in your mouth. The same holds true later, after breastfeeding. Like everything with kids, this is the start to a long time habit of your kids imitating you. Your kids are watching you, even when you eat. Your choices directly impact their choices. I don't like broccoli, or peas, or green beans, or cooked spinach, or pretty much most any vegetable (especially the green ones). Sorry to disappoint you. Do I eat them? Yep, and especially when the kids are watching.

We strive for balance. Protein, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and good fats at every meal. We're not perfect. Yesterday the kids ate cereal for breakfast, followed by eggs and pancakes for lunch, and rice and chicken for dinner. I did manage to get them to eat a few bites of my Chicken Asian Salad (with cabbage, carrots, lettuce, and bell peppers). Those days happen, and it's okay. (My kids are currently eating cereal even though it will ruin their dinner.)

I'm also a very mean mom. My kids must eat what I give them. Even if it means they sit at the table for hours. I'll work with them to find a way to choke down those veggies, but it's going to happen. This has been consistent since the beginning. I think they believe at sometime we'll cave. However, when we give them something new we only require one bite. You have to try it, and if you don't like it--okay. We'll try again some other day. That's key--trying something once doesn't work. Giving them ample opportunity to try different foods helps develop a palate for healthy foods.

One exception that we've made for our kids on trying food: potatoes. My kids do not like mashed potatoes. Or baked, or smothered in cheese, or made into a casserole, or anything except fried and roasted. It's something I'll never understand, and I sincerely hope they change their minds. We rarely have potatoes because of this, which is very sad. I miss potatoes. We've had some success with yukon golds and reds, but Russets are out. I think it's a texture thing.

We love treats and sweets just like everybody. Just like most families it's healthy first, then the sweets. We don't have dessert available every day either. This is something to start from the beginning. We didn't allow sweets until each child reached the age of 2. Yes, even on their 1st birthdays they didn't have cake! (Remember, I'm a mean mom.) O was thrilled with a bowl of oatmeal (though I made him a sugar free muffin), and E loved her sweet potato.

I could keep going on about food, but I'll try to keep it to 10 main points:

1. Start 'em young.
2. Be a good example to them.
3. Don't keep junk food in the house. Make it a special occasion.
4. Include them in the gardening and the cooking. You'll be shocked how this perks their interest in foods. (Don't give up. O could care less at age 2 about the peas in the garden, but at almost 5 he eats carrots if HE gets to chop them.) When they get older, they'll be part of the menu planning & grocery shopping.
5. Make good choices when eating out.
6. Avoid fried and processed at all costs.
7. When you travel, have them try the local food. (Unless you're in the deep-fried south.) ;)
8. Be honest. If it's spicy, tell them. If it's sweet, tell them. Talk about what you're eating--where it came from, how it got to their plates, etc. Make food interesting. Tell them about the vitamins and good things in their food, and how it effects their body. (I also like to tell them how hard candy gets stuck in their teeth and causes tooth decay. This back fires when I get caught eating sweets or junk food.)
9. Create a monthly meal plan, seasonally based. Once you have a couple months down, you can just rotate various meals throughout the weeks in the season. Batch cooking & freezing will save you from last minute take out.
10. Don't beat yourself up for not being "perfect." No one is perfect. Do your best, and try to have fun with your food. If it's your only focus, you're going to get stressed. I'm betting even the "experts" have ice cream for dinner from time to time. At least that's what I told myself when I had cookies for breakfast this morning.

I think you should check out PlanToEat.com. A friend of mine started this site to help his wife, and it has been a life saver (& money saver) for us. The burden of planning meals, making our grocery list, and searching recipes has been simplified with one easy online tool. The best is that you can share recipes for friends. So, if you sign up--find my name & take advantage of all the recipes that I've already uploaded.