More to the story

My first day was less than desirable, worse than I expected, and not at all what I'd hoped for.

Matt asked me if it was just the feeling that I'm supposed to be home, or if it was that job in-particular. The more I stew on that the more I think it's mostly THAT JOB. I could provide you with a bulleted list of all the reasons why I don't like it, and why it just isn't the right "fit" for me, but who wants to read that?

My last post is still truly what I feel--that my job is being home, raising my kids. Moreover--this current job makes my priority one (the kiddos) stressful and difficult. I came home exhausted, frustrated, saddened, and felt myself crumbling inside into that dark place I was earlier this year. That scared me. I can only imagine how hard it would be on a day that Matt has a closing shift (meaning I'd be home alone with the kids after a hard day of work). I'll find out a taste of that tomorrow (Matt has worship rehearsal until late into the evening). Those days are hard enough without me working.

I'm trying to stay positive and give this a fair chance, but my gut has never let me down. My gut is screaming RUN! I've made a few contacts this weekend, and I'm doing a desperate job search to find something else fast.

So, now I know what I would like for you to pray for: A flexible, positive, and uplifiting part-time job.