I start work at Wells Fargo tomorrow. I wouldn't say I'm anxious. I've worked for a bank before. I'm not excited either.
I don't want to go.
It's not that I mind the work--I enjoy working, and enjoy helping out with the finances.
It. Doesn't. Feel. Right.
I/We struggled with the decision for months (if not longer) for me to leave work and be home full time. We weighed pros and cons, debated over when and how, agonized over it, but it came down to the FACT that we felt strongly that GOD WANTED THIS. There would be no arguing that point. We have been reminded over and over, and shown that it was the right time and the right decision. Bills keep coming though, and we need to pay them.
People keep telling me, and I keep telling myself--it's only temporary. It's just until...(fill in the blank). That doesn't keep it from feeling like I'm going against what the Almighty wants. Now, do I believe it's a sin to go back to work...no. God knows we need to get rid of this debt. God wants it gone as bad as we do. God wants me home too. I know He's working on this, I know it will be fine. Knowing all of that doesn't take away the queasy feeling in my stomache, and the physical pull I feel to stay home.
I'm not sure exactly what to ask for in prayer, just please take this before God for me, will ya?
3 comments:
I had something else written out, but it was kind of cheesy and I'm not sure that's what you need right now. Plus it's 2 am and I should be in bed.
I will be keeping you - and the kiddos - in my heart and thoughts today, though.
That is so hard. Keeping you in prayer.
Hope the day went great for you and the kids. You are always in my prayers.
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